Jukebox Heroes

Okay, so with watching Walter's pee wee practice and playing soccer with Alex on the adjacent field (and dinner and bed), DVR tells me that I'm 37 minutes behind. By the time I turn on Idol, Megan is crucifying some song, Danny is rocking the joint, and when Simon says Danny is light years above the first two performers, and I can't wonder who the first person was...I hope it was Scott; I hope it wasn't Anoop. So let's rewind.

Oh! I get to see the opening again! I do like the opening this year. Oh, blah blah blah...something about artistry v. karaoke which reminds me of my ongoing lament about this show. I will never understand what the judges want; when someone is original, they say, "you should sing it like so-and-so", and when they sing like someone, then they say "we want to know who YOU are". So I've come to the conclusion that the judges don't know what they want; they just know what they like. Seeing has I've pretty much run my career like this, I can get on board this thought train.

So, it's pick your own song as long as it's a popular download on iTunes. Oh, this should be entertaining.

Anoop WAS first...dangit. Is this song called "Call It", by Usher? I didn't catch the name. Why oh why is he doing this? This isn't going to work for me. But let's keep an open mind. He just sang the first note and my mind closed. Wait a minute; it's called Caught Up (no one has ever confused me for an Usher fan). Okay, here's why I LOVE Anoop - he's that nerdy guy in college that I really wanted to date, but he never wanted to date me because he thought he was so much cooler than I was. I can't help but love him, and wonder if his teammates at Mathletes are cheering him on. Randy doesn't think it's the right song choice, but he thinks vocally it was okay. This whole night is going to be a mess that these kids get the choice to choose any song from iTunes. Kara tells him he played it safe and "did what Usher did". See? Paula likes that he went playful, but at first she wasn't sure about it. Paula's necklace reminds me of a candy necklace made of Jolly Ranchers. I already know Simon hated it....and he called it a "complete and utter mess", saying he came over as a wannabe (and protractors everywhere drop on the floor in protest). Anoop gets a little lippy and by now everyone knows how this pisses me off. WHY do you do this, particularly this season with the insipid judge's save? Do they not think that folk will remember this? Well, I do.

Megan Joy (again, has she dropped Corkrey?) - Turn your Lights Down - where do I begin with this? Bob Marley -- a WHOLE SONG catalog and you pick Bob Marley. I want to like her; I do I like ...oh, I hate this already. Okay, so I was saying, I *want* to like her. Her voice is definitely not pop -- she reminds me a little bit of Amy Whinehouse, but her song choices continue to suck. This is taking a long time to be over. It's time for her to go, and I say this with apologies to my friend Joe who loves her, but he knows its true. Unless next week is blues week and she gets to work out some Ella Fitzgerald, her weeks are not long for AI. Kara agrees with me, saying this is a bad song choice. Someone in the audience calls Kara a broken record and she gets hankty (shocking). Paula is stumbling for words so you know she hates it too. She suggests that Megan challenge herself by sitting on a stool (I do believe DrunkPaula is back!) Simon says it was monotonous and indulgent and the things that they liked about her are gone and Randy jumped in and said it was liking watching paint dry...BWAHAHAHAHAHA!! Randy calls up Amy Whinehouse, and I'm wondering when I'm going to get a job on AI. Oh, and Megan says she thinks her fans (all of them) were feeling it. It simultaneously cracks me up and annoys me when these kids talk about their fans...they've been around for exactly a month...fans?

Danny Gokey - What Hurts the Most, by Rascal Flatts; Incidentally, this is one of my favorite bands right now. I love them! And I love this song...wow. Danny can sing. I really enjoy that raspy quality in his voice; and I find that I stop what I'm doing to listen to him sing. Paula loves it (shocking!). Simon asks him if they are still okay after his harsh critique last week (so I know something good's coming). He said it was his best performance ever, and that he's what it's all about -- picking a good song and making it his own (even though he didn't deviate much from the Rascal Flatts version; see?). Randy says the show begins now and Kara had goosebumps. Kara and Paula are going to fight over Danny.

Allison Iraheta - Don't Speak - What is UP with this outfit? She looks like Cyndi Lauper back in her heyday, and since we know that Cyndi's heyday was about 10 years before Allison was born, Allison looks a bit of a hot fried mess. I don't love this. I thought she was just maybe feeling her way in rehearsal, but then she was on stage and it was bad. Was it me or was she not in tune with the band? I'm a fan of Allison's, but this wasn't a great choice for her. Randara admit her outfit is distracting, and that she's a rocker and doesn't need the schtick. Paula takes a swig of her kool-aid and says that Allison is smooth sailing toward the end of this. I might disagree with that. She's good, but I don't get the sense that she's topping the votes week after week. Simon calls her precocious and that she's playing dress-up, and that she shouted the song. Precocious is a BAD label on this show. Seeing that I was relieved when her performance ended, I guess I didn't love it.

Next up - Scott McIntyre - Just the Way You Are, by Billy Joel - And yup...it's pedantic and trivial. I like it more than I care to admit, but I still don't think it was great. I like him and the piano, but I would have gone with Bruce Hornsby, maybe. Kara likes it, calling it a smart song choice. Paula makes 19 Entertainment pick up the phone to speed dial the lawyers when she starts off saying proud she is of him, but then quickly says it's not because he's visually impaired but because of all he does to make her forget he's visually impaired, or something like that. Simon calls it his best performance by a country mile, and reminds him to never listen to Paula, who suggested a few weeks back that he let go of the piano. Randy said he did a good job, but I don't really remember what all he said because I'm wondering if my critique of Scott this week is unduly influenced by my being tired of him being in the competition. Nah, I'm completely objective. :)

Matt Giraudi - You Found Me (by the Fray) - Okay, I admit I've never heard of this song before, but I think I've heard of the fray, but I don't like them positioning him in the mosh pit, because it seems like he's trying too hard. I don't love this, and it hurts that my boyfriend didn't move me this week, but it might be because I don't know this song. I fear that Matt might be in trouble because I think that his followers love his R&B thing, not the rocker. Paula and Simon say that he sounds like he's trying to copy the original and that he's losing himself. Randy said that it was the wrong song, saying he needs to let the soul flavah out more. Kara says he's schizo and he needs to decide if he's a rock star or if he's an R&B star. And had he not been in the Bottom 3 last week, I would applaud that decision. But Matt, my friend, when you're that close to going home, you have to dance with the girl that brought you there. I might have to vote tonight, just to make sure I do my part to keep him around.

Lil Rounds - I Surrender - Me thinks that Celine should be left alone, especially if you have a power voice, because you can't help but compare power voices. I love Lil's hair (I got my hair cut like that over the weekend, except I don't have bangs and mine is a little shorter. So, I guess it's not that much like that after all). I think she looks lovely and her voice is so incredible to me. Randara is decidedly 'eh' on this, but they admit that she can sing. Paula doesn't want to see Adult Contemporary Lil, but Mary J Lil, and Simon finds it quite wedding-like. Oooh, I think the bloom is off the rose for Simon when it comes to Lil, and they offer that she should have sang One (like Mary J did). Simon tells her to stop being so old...he actually says 'stop that', which makes me laugh.

Adam Lambert - Play that Funky Music - and his tongue in rehearsal is hanging out further than Lightning McQueen's in Cars. I very much prefer Adam's hair off his face where you can see his lovely blue eyes. I very much prefer for Adam to not do that screech. Okay, so, I really liked the arrangement that he used, and hmmm...I'm going with craptastic, which is not an insult, really. Paula can barely sit down she's danced so much, and for someone who used to choreograph the Fly Girls, her moves tonight were so out of tune with the music, I thought she was having a fit. But then I remembered that Paula is drunk, and now dead to me again by comparing Adam to Steven Tyler and Mick Jagger, saying genius shatters expectations. Yeah, okay, he's a'ight, but Steven Tyler??? Simon essentially tells him that he rocked it last week so he could rest on his laurels. Randy admits that it exceeded his hopes, and Kara says that he was fun. And while I won't go as far as to say I'm an Adam Fan, I will admit that craptastic is praise tonight.

Kris Allen - Ain't No Sunshine - and I really have high hopes for this because I absolutely adore this song (I heard it on the radio on the way home yesterday...) Kris is owning this, I have no commentary because I just stopped and listened. I loved this. Kris is the one that no one is watching who is going to be in the final three. You heard it here. Kara has three words [insert eye roll here]. Kara, I got some words for you. Paula calls it his best performance to date. Simon calls it cool and clever. That was my favorite performance of the night, hands down. Nicely done, Kris.

And that's a wrap...who are my bottom choices tonight? And it pains me to say -- Megan, Anoop, and Lil. I'm afraid for Matt if he's in the bottom again.

This new Osborne show reminds me that our civilization is in complete decline...I think I'll go watch Family Guy. But before I turn it, I watch this woman give her boyfriend an ultimatum -- marry me or lose me -- and they are doing the ceremony and she won't know what's what until it gets to the part where says I Do. Why would anyone do this to themselves? Why would you WANT to marry anyone under those conditions...alas, that is a post for another day.

TTFN, Friends.