Girls, Girls, Girls!!

Once again, I have my collective work, parent, wife roles together and am able to blog in real time. My friend Yelena pointed out that she likes the stream of consciousness blogs, so she should be really happy tonight. Shout out to you, Alenka - hope you kicked butt on your final.

Okay, so, the girls are up tonight, after a quick switch last night. Ryan introduces the girls, and Crystal is introduced last, so that Ryan can make sure she’s doing okay. Ryan points out that Kara is practically sitting on Simon’s lap, and uh...he’s right. And then there’s some salacious flirting. Like, Paula is waiting somewhere, earrings in hand, ready to throw down with Kara over her man. Simon points out that this week is almost more important than last week - that there’s no room for amateur moves like forgetting the words. So you know, don’t be an amateur during an amateur competition. AI, you are still, after all these years, an enigma.

Crystal is first. She’s singing Credence’ As Long As I Can See the Light. She’s going with a gospel feel, which DEFINITELY works for her. Her voice is like butter for me. I’ve liked her for moment one. And...I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but the first few lines of this reminds me of Miss Kelly Clarkson singing Natural Woman. For those who have not stood up and taken notice of her before, you will now. Her voice reminds me of the finest qualities of Sarah McLachlan and yes, dare I say it, the purity of Miss Aretha Franklin. I know that’s high praise, but I REALLY liked what she did with this song. She absolutely rocked the almighty shit out of this. Simon is kind of frowning. Ut-oh. Randy starts off that she is the truth, that she just does what she does and that she is true to who she is. I think he’s calling her genuine, using about a bazillion more words than necessary. Ellen loves her raw, natural talent, and asks her to stay healthy because she’s amazing. Kara says Alanis didn’t fit her, but that this song did. She’s focused like the greats, and that she went to another level tonight. Simon says she’s great. He’s impressed that she did not play the sympathy card as she was genuinely sick. He then goes on to say that her performance reminded them OF THE MOMENT THEY REALIZED KELLY CLARKSON WAS A SERIOUS ARTIST. Okay, that’s it. I officially quit until they stop reading my mind.

Okay, I thought about it, and I un-quit.

From the sublime to the Haeley, she is singing Miley Cyrus, which should pretty much put the nail in my Haeley love coffin. Haeley says during her video that she loves to make things, including the ridiculous Lady Sings the Blues headbands she wears. And you know, I used to try and wear flowers in my hair when I was a kid, and much to my chagrin, my mother will NOT put away that picture of this fashion tragedy that she has on her refrigerator. It didn’t work then. It doesn’t work now. I freely admit that it’s hard for me to keep an open mind because I. abhor. this. song. I can say that I like Haeley’s voice more than Miley’s. I can also say that it was still a mess and didn’t appeal to me at all. And OOH! That note was not in the same zip code as the band. Oh, this is such a mess, I feel bad that she gets on my nerves. Randy says it didn’t work for him, calling it excruciating. He says she can sing, but it was so pitchy and that she had no connection to the song. Ellen stars with that Haeley is adorable...so it sucked. And she says that this song has a great powerful message. [Must send Ellen an email to ask exactly what this message is.] Kara compares her to Alex Lambert, that people are rooting for her; unfortunately, thinks she needs about a year to strengthen her instrument, that she’s got some fundamental problems. Simon doesn’t want to make it worse, but he does take the time to call it a complete mess. (Damn. I’d hate to say what he’d say when he wants to rub salt in the wound). He said that theoretically, it should have worked - she’s a cute young girl singing a cute young song, but that she shouldn’t have been singing about a climb because she fell off. And. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Ryan takes the stage to somewhat take Simon to task, asking how everything he said didn’t make things worse. I know, right? Aww...I feel bad, Haeley is obviously trying not to cry as they head to break, and it does make me feel somewhat bad for her. She is trying, but honestly? I hope she doesn’t become the AI joke - the contestant that keeps getting voted through, because I think her...lack of readiness is only going to become more apparent. She’s young, no way she’ll endure these critiques week after week without it affecting her performances.

Lacey Brown is an antique lover. That’s all I got from her video...aw hell, she’s doing Kiss Me, by Sixpence None the Richer. Strange the that’s exactly the group that Kara recommended. I don’t love this song, and I don’t love her doing it. Okay, once the tempo sped up, I started to like this more, but it feels kind of copycat to me. But it might be because it’s sing-songy anyway, and perhaps I can’t blame her for that. It’s just that her voice is so similar to the original artist. Randy said it was a good choice, and it would have worked, but for a while he was waiting for the words to flash across the screen. Again, the word he was looking for was karaoke. Ellen thinks she’s adorable and that the song, while not changing it, suited her well. Kara says she liked the beginning (!), but that she needs to step it up. Simon says it was the marginally better than last week, but that she’s trying to win a competition and not trying to showcase her artistry, that compared to Crystal, she was completely forgettable. That she will do whatever is suggested and do a credible job, and that’s it. Um. That was NOT a good critique. Even the best comments said “copycat”. I kind of feel bad for everyone having to follow Crystal tonight. The bar is too high.

Katie Stevens is next, talking about how it always snows during her viewing parties. Her video is kind of cute. She’s doing Girl Put Your Records On, by Corrine Bailey Rae. OKAY! This is the Katie Stevens that I was totally digging throughout the auditions. She’s dressed more contemporarily, she’s singing a fun song, and she’s just singing, and her voice is just so lovely I like this. And it’s the oddest thing - she seems older tonight, more assured than she did last week when she was singing on the Sunset Cruise Ship. I liked this. Well done, Katie. Randy says there were some bright moments, and that her upper register reminds him of the cool girl they saw in the audition. He thought the first part of the song was pitchy. Hmmm...citing the age and confidence, he invites her to take on bigger songs. Ellen *liked* it. Yes, the like was in quotation marks. She said that she still sounds old, and she really doesn’t want to hear anything she’d hear in her dentist’s office. Kara agrees with Ellen, saying that Katie frustrates her, that she’s better than she’s being. She saying that this is a good radio song, but not a good performance song. Simon echoes all of them, appreciating that she tried to take their notes. Simon wants her to decide what kind of artist that she wants to be, but that this wasn’t a winning performance. I’d have to disagree. I liked this more than they did, and I’ll have to watch this again. Who am I kidding? I barely get to watch shows, much less watch them again. Okay, I’m still hankty that they are quoting my blog now...I’m not giving them anymore free stuff.

Didi Benami is singing Lean On Me, by Bill Withers. They didn’t love her as much as I did last week - this COULD rock. I’m hopeful, because I like her. Her voice is very pure - it’s a lovely tone she has going on...but this. Um - it took me a minute to decide how I feel about this. And I’m not sure I loved it, but I didn’t hate it. Really - that just kind of left me puzzled. Randy can make up his mind. He doesn’t like it, that it’s not the genre for her. Ellen loves her voice...and everything else she says means there’s a big “but” coming. And it’s a little “but” - she knocks her on song choice. Kara just said it wasn’t good - and that she’s not consistent. She said she was all over the place and that she’s still a fan. DAYUM! Simon completely hates it. He says she continued the cat theme (nod to her video and her vocal warmups) by screeching during the whole thing. He says it’s a wasted opportunity - that she gets to sing in front of millions and basically makes a mess of it. Didi wins big points in my book (like my book matters), but she takes it all, and plasters a smile on her face, unable to speak, because she’s about to cry. And I think everyone I know has had a moment like that - it’s silence or a sea of tears, so I’m giving her a big hell yeah for getting through that moment. And, I don’t think it was as bad as they thought it was...I would have preferred that they were puzzled too, because I do like her. Definitely a tough break. It was hard to watch.

Michelle Delamor is singing With Arms Wide Open, by Creed tonight. I think this song showcases her voice very nicely. The beginning was really good, and I wish it hadn’t gone all rock-y. Not rocky, bad; rocky roll-ey. I also think it got away from her a little bit toward the end. Uh - I’m eh on this. Decidedly eh on this. Randy says her outfit is hot, and that’s all he has to say that’s good about the performance. He likes the chance she took, but that it fell flat. I think Ellen and I had the same thought - taking the lyrics out of the rock field was good, but it didn’t work as well as she’d hope. Kara kind of disagrees - saying it’s her favorite performance of Michelle’s ever. She said she took a risk, and it was different, and while there were some technical problems, she bought her singing this. Simon agrees with Kara, saying that he admits their advice can be contradictory (YA THINK?). He said he likes what she did in the beginning (uh-huh - get out of my head, Simon), but that she got it about 80% correct. Simon also gives Michelle the “you’re my crush” look. She’s totally his woman - don’t blow it like Lil did last year, Michelle.

Lilly Scott is doing Sam Cooke’s A Change is Gonna Come. She said, with Ryan, that she needs to work on keeping her eyes open. And I wonder how anyone notices whether her eyes are open are closed - i can’t get past her hair. Okay, so I like her voice - I like how unique it is. CYNDI LAUPER! That’s who she reminds me of - just kind of doing her own thing. I like this more than I expected to. You know I think this song is pretty much sacred. I’m really liking what she’s doing with this...it’s working for me. Randy says she worked it out, calling it his favorite performance of the night. Okay, no. It was good. Ellen said she forgot again that she was a judge and that she was her favorite performance of the night. Again, no. Kara said she was riveted - that she had her first moment - that thank God she’s a misfit. Simon said it was good, even great. That he wasn’t as over the moon as the others. He said he’s comparing her to Crystal only because they do have a similar vibe, and that he thought Crystal was stronger. And okay, thank goodness - someone has a good memory on the judge’s panel. Okay, yes, she was good. She was very good. But Crystal, in my opinion, still owns tonight.

Pretty Katelyn Epperly is singing The Scientist, by Coldplay. Oh my. I like this a lot. It got a little rough for me in the middle, but she recovered nicely. Okay, I might be a bit biased because she’s just lovely. I might have a little crush or something. Randy really liked it, but that it was way slow. He said it fell a bit off pitch at the end. He didn’t love it, but he liked it. Ellen liked that she played guitar, which is really funny because she was playing the piano. Ellen makes a joke, but then seriously says that it was way too slow...way too slow. She says slow, like a dozen times, and says that the big note kind of woke her up after the song itself putting her to sleep. And...heh. Kara says she kind of loves her, and I get that. She says she has an incredible instrument, and that she can do a lot of things with it, which is the problem, because she’s all over the place. But she’s really good. Just wants her to figure out who she is. That’s a theme this year. Simon calls it a smart choice of song that makes her contemporary. He says she’s quite corny when she performs and she needs to watch that. And because corny is just about the worst thing you can call a 20+ year old (instead of a cheese ball like me who eats that up), she kind of grimaces. I think she’ll be around for a while.

Okay - 2 hours is too long for this. There are two more singers and I’m sleepy. Just sayin’.

Paige Miles is up next. And the best thing she has for her video is that she likes to color. Hookay. I actually like to color too, to be fair, but really? That’s all she has? You know, that's one of my fears - I get to be a contestant on Jeopardy and when they get to my factoid, it’s going to be something really really dull...like how I like to color. Paige is singing Rockaway by Kelly Clarkson. I LOVE this song. Love it. And Paige is actually doing all right with it. But I must note that she said to Ryan that she had dry mouth before she started to perform, and I think I can hear a bit of it. Okay, here’s my thing about Paige - when she’s singing, I like her. But I don’t remember her much past the end of the show. That may just change after that performance - that was pretty good. Randy points out that Kara wrote this song (didn’t know that!), but that he wasn’t over the top on it (Randy’s in a bad mood tonight. Just sayin’.) He says that there are so many words in the song he missed her voice. Which. Whatever. Ellen disagrees with Randy and says that she loved it. That she had a lot of energy, and that she obviously had fun with it. Kara likes her soul/pop energy, but said the song is a bit angry, and that she was smiling too much for the song, or something like that. I think she meant that her peppy performance was incongruent with the message of the song, and so the whole thing came off fake to her. At least, that’s what I’m going with because that’s solid critiquing. Simon says that she’s picked the wrong song twice, and that it’s concerning. He said that he didn’t think she established herself as someone who could win the competition, and that her performances are forgettable. He says IF she’s still here next week, she needs to be prepared to put her personal stamp on a song and own it.

Last, but not least, Siobhan Magnus, Simon’s funny little thing! And from her video, she is a whack job. A really lovable whack job. I like her so much. Oh my, and she’s taking on Think, by Aretha Franklin. Let’s see how this goes. Oh...I don’t likey this much. And that makes me sad. Her voice is just not that strong, and where it’s thin, it’s pitchy, and when it’s strong - it’s loud. Oh she’s yelling at me and I’m really ready for this to be over. And it’s not just because I’m sleepy. When will this end - oh....that was a powerful note. How did she do that? Wow. Randy loved it, proving he’s on some sort of serious drug. Ellen loved it too. She says most people would say not to take on such a big song, but that people also thought that putting sleeves on a blanket was a mistake too. And. BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Simon says she just so weird, but that she’s interested and very talented. He liked her video, and that he was hating it and then she hit that sick last note. But for me, since I was kind of hating it - the note just made my headache complete. I didn’t see what they saw, but I’m glad they liked it, because I really like her.

At the end of the night, Simon says that Crystal stood out for him. And for me, which means that I gave an hour and fifty minutes for...what? If I had to pick who would be in trouble tomorrow night for the women? Probably Hayley and Lacey? I worry that Didi is in trouble too. We shall see!

Thanks for reading!