Girls Just Want to Have Fun!

Okay, so first up? The Ladies are singing. The song list is wide open as it only has to be a billboard hit. But the big list ends up biting a lot of these girls in their collective rear ends because the judges hammer a lot of them on song choice.

The Coke cups are back for the judges. And thank goodness. I was about to start a conspiracy theory about the different cups now that Paula’s gone. And I miss Paula. I find that no one does bat shit crazy quite as well as she does. This will be the first time Ellen gets time of her own to judge the singers. Something else I noticed, they made a joke about Simon and Ellen being separated because Simon was hitting on her during Hollywood week. However, I wonder if there’s something to the rumors that those two hate each other. Which I can’t see…but I can see where sitting next to someone while listening to a bunch of kids mangle songs day in and day out can bring out the worst in a person.

Paige Miles gets to go first and she’s singing All Right Now. It’s ehh. I actually find her to be ehh, yammering on and on about “her moment”. What moment? I find her noisy. Not screechy. Noisy. Simon thinks she has the best voice (really? So just go to hell other 11 girls?), but hates the song. He says it was not believable and needs to believe in herself. Kara says that she chose a rock song with soul, but didn’t love the chorus. Randy, says something about her powerful voice, and uh, Randy? If Simon really does leave and this show has a hope of surviving without him – step it up! Ellen says that she appreciates her being first. And there. Great voice. Hookay. I just may not like Paige.

Ashley Rodriguez takes on Leona Lewis. Not wise considering she’s Simon’s ingénue – you’re going to have to nail it for it to work. And she doesn’t, but she reminds me of Jessica Biel with her hair like that. I don’t know that I’ve heard this song before, but she’s not keeping up with the band. It’s ehh. Kara gives her credit for taking on a big song, but wants her to take a risk and be different. Oh here we go. Did you like it because it’s a big song, or did you dislike it because she was cookie cutter? I have a feeling that if I drink every time one of them says “be different” or “bad song choice”, I’ll need to go to rehab before sweeps. Randy says she didn’t step out as herself (DRINK!), Ellen says basically the same thing – will it be Ellandy or Randellen? Simon wants to remind people that he does have a knack for picking people and says she does big singers, but not well. That it was clumsy and he didn’t like the arrangement.

And here, I must wave the bullshit flag. Can we really blame the singers for the arrangement? Perhaps if they would stop doing the mushy back story junk, there would be more time for them to…oh, I don’t know…SING.

Anyhoo, Simon’s harsh critique moves Ashley to tears, and I have to say, I thought that was an honest response. I don’t know how these people hear all of this stuff without blubbering on a regular basis.

Janell Wheeler – What about Love. You know, I still remember her first audition Hollywood week. I like her a lot, and I love this song (LOVE IT), but the two don’t work together. And here I must wonder, am I just in a bad mood? I hope she sticks around though, because I *do* like her. Randy nails her on a bad song choice (DRINK!); Ellen liked it, despite a few wonky notes (I love the term wonky). Simon said she gave 100% effort, but delivered 65% - that “she thought it was going well, but not that well”. And? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Kara says the song is way too big for her.

Lilly Scott is doing the Beatles’ Fix in a Hole, and she’s got this Corrine Bailey Rae/Adele thing happening that’s working for her. And for me. She seems like she’s the first one tonight who’s not overwhelmed by her nerves. But what is UP with that hair? Ellen likes it, saying that’s what they are looking for. Simon says she’s the best of the four (talk about damning with faint praise). Kara and Randy like it too – that she’ll be remembered for her real indie artist appeal. During Ryan’s recap, Kara and Simon are chatting – something along the lines of “will you be my new AI girlfriend”, and Kara’s all “Actually, I’m digging Ellen. But we all know that Kara is really digging Casey James, and of the things that are making me like Kara more this season, that’s up there.

Katelyn Epperly is doing Oh Darlin. I liked her in Chicago. I like her now, even though she looks like she’s losing a Mae West look-a-like contest. Oh-oh…that almost got away from her, but she recovered nicely. I like this. Simon likes her – that’s she’s quirky. He praises her song choice, but says she’ll need work. Kara says even though she wouldn’t have picked that song (DRINK!), she knows what she’s doing. But she doesn’t like her makeover (Am I, God forbid, connected to Kara this season?). Randy said that she was in tune. Talk about faint praise, indeed. Ellen said it made her want to pay attention.

Hayley Vaughn is also covering the Beatles. Her song is “I Wanna Hold Your Hand”. What? And what the HELL is she wearing? What a hot fried mess. Deeply fried in oil. Kara says the performance had issues, but that she’s fun. Randy says she’s a mess. Well, I’m paraphrasing, but that’s what the gist of it was. Ellen notes that she has a lot of presence for a 16 year old and that she shines. Simon said it was verging on terrible (not for me. It WAS terrible), and that she was like a wind up doll that never stopped smiling. He then punctuated it with “a mess”. Welcome back, Simy. I missed you. It really did kind of suck.

Lacey Brown is singing Landslide. Okay, this is one of my favorite songs ever, and aside from some phrasing issues, I liked it okay. But I think it will end up being a bad song choice because it’s a song SO easy to criticize. And the judges roundly pan it. Randy just said it was terrible. Damn. Ellen said that she’s better than that. Kara said it was an indulgent choice, felt forced, but does note she has pretty eyes. Simon said after about 15 seconds, he wondered how much longer there was (45 seconds, Simon, because of the stupid clips).

Michelle Delamor sings Alycia Keys Fallen. Another mistake, in my opinion. It’s too easy to mess it up. Okay, so I didn’t like the first note, but it does get better. Oh…this arrangement kind of sucks (I really think I’m in a bad mood tonight). Ellen loves it though – says it was fantastic, but it felt safe because it seemed so easy to her. Simon calls it good, but not great. He does say she looks fabulous (she’s his crush, I think. You know he has one every season!). Kara says she’s going for the diva spot, but has to get better technically first, that she lacks believability. I see her point. Randy says she has a great voice, and a great look, but needs to take some risks.

Didi Benami. Oh I like her. She sang Kara’s song during Hollywood week. She’s doing The Way I am, by Ingrid Michaelson. I really like her voice – it’s different. Oh – it’s THIS song. You know, the song you hear on commercials and it’s a bit of an earworm. I really liked this. But Simon didn’t. He said she was dull, but likes her. Kara says she made a good choice in the changes she made, but Simon repeats it’s not memorable. Randy calls it sleepy. Ellen, coming as close to criticism as she had yet, says it would be an okay song in a set, but one shot for the week? Not so much. Simon then compares it to your first kiss – you want it to be memorable. And now we know who got Paula’s cup this year.

Siobhan Magnus sings Wicked Games, one of my Waltie’s favorite songs. I like it too. She’s kind of owning this. Her voice is lovely. Kara wouldn’t have picked the song for her, but liked it, and her in that moment. Randy, if I’m reading my notes right, said that it was a tough song, and the comparison from her owning Hollywood week didn’t help her. Ellen loves it. She forgot to be a judge because she was entertained, which I think is high praise. Simon calls her a funny little thing. He said that he didn’t love it, that the clip hurt her. I think Simon thinks she’s a bit of a whack job. Which makes me laugh.

My girl Crystal Bowersox is singing Hand in My Pocket. I’m biased because she’s my favorite so far, but I wonder if it will hurt her that she’s working all of these instruments instead of using the preciously short 60 seconds to SING? I have to admit, at this point, she and Katie Stevens are the only names I know. Randy calls it original, and finds her honestly good. He’s a fan. Ellen said she adds something fresh and wants to see more of her. Simon wouldn’t stop to hear her outside a subway, and she lips off, which if you know me, you know that bothers me. Kara says it’s good, but not great.

Lastly Katie Stevens does Feelin’ Good. I didn’t love it. The vamp move didn’t work for me. I felt like she was playing dress up. Ellen and Simon were feelin’ me on this. Simon said it started to become annoying. Kara doesn’t like it, saying she couldn’t hear herself, and that it was pitchy. Randy and Kara morphed into Randara, saying essentially the same thing. Actually, they were all in agreement on this one – Randelaramon, perhaps?

Okay, so DVR is still holding the boy’s performance. Might be time to let it go.

Happy AI tonight, friends!