If I Were A Boy

Okay, so I’m blogging in real time tonight, where I find Ryan saying that the girls are NOT performing tonight. Turns out, Crystal Bowersox has been hospitalized and can’t sing until tomorrow. Here’s hoping you’re okay, Crystal - it stinks to be sick away from home.

Ryan introduces the judges and Ellen is sitting one seat closer to Simon. Before this season is over, I will have Simon and Ellen dating. Ellen and Ryan are prattling on over missed shows and Ellen is getting the opportunity to do what she does best...just ramble on, and I find her hysterical. I would love to see her in concert. Kara says that the guys are going to step up their game because they should have shaken off their nerves last week. And my my my, Kara is smokin’ tonight. The curly hair with the kind of 60’s makeup works for her.

First up - Mike Lynche, who was in theatre class along with playing football. I missed the men’s performances last week, so this will be my first time seeing Big Mike on the big stage. He’s singing “This is a Man’s World”, by James Brown. I hope this goes well for him - you can see where I’d be concerned. But it starts off very nicely and my cougar has stepped out at 8:06 tonight. A big man that can move AND croon some JB. But you know, the middle of this was kind of slow for me, but it really picks up here toward the end. Liked the beginning, and the end - the middle kind of made me sleepy. But it’ll be hard for him to piss me off - just sayin’. Randy feels like the season is starting right now - that he could look in his eye and see fire. It seems like perhaps Mike bought out Randy’s cougar too? Ellen likes all of his song choices, but called this performance the one to beat. Kara says he owned it, and didn’t really get his appeal until tonight, and that she’s feeling it. She says she didn’t know what he ate (to which Simon says - probably a lot. HA!). Simon calls it his best performance of the competition and that he seemingly changed from last week from something to a tiger. Mike makes me laugh, a lot. I hope he sticks around.

John Park is singing Gravity, by John Mayer. He said that last week he was trying too hard, and now I must wonder just what the hell I missed last week. Okay, I like John (Park. And Mayer too) a lot. I have since the auditions, but I always expect treacle when they sit down to sing. I like this very much, but I love this song so I might be biased. I think this song may actually work for him, because John Mayer has a soulful voice, but I find when I’m listening to John Mayer, I’m waiting for him to rip on his guitar. What I’m saying is that Mayer’s voice is secondary to me, so perhaps people will find this original. Okay, this wasn’t that great to me. This did NOT work for Randy, saying it was not special to him and that it wasn’t different from the original. Maybe this song won’t work for John after all, because Ellen says it was better than last week, but not original (hot mess last week, I think). Kara’s going back to old Kara, saying she didn’t connect to it. Simon struggles with his believability, saying it was a forgettable performance and that his group at Northwestern, Purple Haze (love that name, by the way), may be getting their singer back. He doesn’t imagine him at the top of the charts this time next year. They are all in agreement that he’s not star power material - Ellen tries to make him feel better about this. After all that, a flight from LAX to O’Hare International may be in John’s immediate future.

HELLOOOOOOOOOO Casey. Ryan is getting on the way back machine talking about Elliott Yamin and Chris Richardson. I’ve been watching this show for a while now and I don’t remember Chris Richardson - guess it didn’t pan out for him past AI. Casey will be doing I Don’t Wanna Be, by Gavin McGraw. Casey’s video kind of cracks me up when he says he won’t share his Idol ritual because those people are better than he is so he can’t give them anything. I usually find those videos stupid, but I liked his. Of course, I don’t dislike much about Casey. Including this song. He caught me with the opening guitar lick. Okay, I do *like* this, but this song kind of trips up his lower register. I think this was a great performance which will sail him to next week, but I don’t think this was a great vocal, honestly. Randy gives props to his musicianship and he draws the comparison to him and Stevie Ray Vaughn being from Texas. Ellen says he couldn’t go wrong with the song (apparently Chris Richardson, whoever the hell he is, did), but she finds him stiff and she wants him to have more fun on the stage. Kara calls herself on her own cougar-ness, but says that he took two steps back for her tonight, saying that everything that was distinct about him is gone tonight, reminds him it’s a singing competition. I’m not entirely comfortable with Kara and I being BFF’s this season. Simon, after needling Kara about Casey not returning her calls, agrees with her. He calls his performance last week a great song, standout; this week, someone in any bar in America, and that it didn’t work for him. I, for one, am tired of doing all of the judges work for them and wonder why I’m not making a kazillion dollars like Simon. Oh, right. Because no one knows me.

Next up, Alex Lambert who admits that he has a real case of nerves up there. Work through that Alex - that’ll hurt you in the long run. He admits to usually throwing up before big games and “especially before this”. Aw. Maybe what it is this year is that this is the first time there’s been an honest to goodness bunch of amateurs competing for their shot. Which honestly, makes me like the show more. I like this guy. Maybe this week the videos are helping me understand these kids more. Yeah, I called them kids...what? Im knocking on 40, so basically, I was too old for this who before Y2K. He’s singing John Legend “Everybody Knows”. Awww...this kid is a sweetheart. I actually like his voice, and I REALLY hope he works through this nerves thing because he could be one to watch. Randy calls it such an improvement over last week and that he enjoyed it, calling him legit. Ellen agrees that he’s so much better than last week, and likens him to a ripe banana, gaining a lot of experience so quickly. She says under that mullet is a Sam Cooke. And. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Kara says that everyone is rooting for him and that he has an incredible recordable voice, and that he doesn’t know what to do with him. Simon says it was a million times better than last week. Simon then says “the only time you should be nervous is if you’re useless”. He said he seems like he’s out there, happy to come in 7th or something and that Alex has to have a killer instinct. He goes onto say that he wishes he could choose his songs. Welcome to the top 12, Alex. He tells him he doesn’t want to hear anymore about the nerves bullshit and that he could win the whole thing. And right there, in that critique, Simon pointed out why this show really should end if he leaves. He gets completely invested in the talent, and despite the way he says it, gives spot on advice, every time. And I’m totally adding that quote to my list of favorites, by the way.

Todrick Hall gets on my nerves. So filter everything I’m about to write through that. He’s singing What’s Love Got to Do With It, by Tina Turner...and I...kinda like it. I like this arrangement, and I do think this guy has a nice voice. He just seems so full of himself that I find him hard to take. So, this performance demonstrates he needs to sing more and talk less, because I really liked it. Randy says that part of it was hot, but that a great song doesn’t need a new arrangement, and he can just sing a nice song, and for once, he needs to do it. Ellen thinks he needs to go with his strengths and that she didn’t like that he wasn’t dancing. She says it was the wrong song choice. Okay, they all like him, but didn’t like this song choice, making me think I’m in opposite land. Kara didn’t like it either. Simon didn’t like it either, saying it’s of the caliber of a theme park performance and that he’s getting it completely and utterly wrong. Simon says he needs to stick to dancing. Hmmm...I may have to listen to this again. Todrick says he thought that they wanted him to take songs and make them his own and if he gets to come back next week he’ll just do that. Okay, he’s annoying, but I’d understand why he’d think that. Because HELLO! That’s what they always say! But Randy says he changes them too much, and once again, I feel like I really need to see last week’s episode.

Jermaine Sellers is up. And in his video he is wearing an awesome onesie. He looks a hot mess, but I love that he’s wearing it. He calls himself a young guy with an old spirit. He’s singing What’s Going On, by Marvin Gaye. And I like this - I like his voice, but I have to close my eyes, because quite frankly that Nino Brown haircut is a bit off putting to me. Just sayin’. Okay, I don’t love how his voice can head to that Adam Lambert screech - not the Adam that won me over last year, but the first Adam Lambert that got on my nerves. This performance doesn’t really command my attention. I found myself looking at the clock wondering how much longer. Randy says it’s so close, but so far at the same time. He says it wasn’t a great performance and that all of his screeching was so away from Marvin Gaye. Ellen said she loves that he rocks the onesie. And that was the best part of the her critique, so you know what she thought of it. Kara says he’s always doing too much, and that he doesn’t need every trick in every performance. And I get what she’s saying -- it's kind of like when scrapbookers want to put every single technique they've ever learned on one page. You think it's going to be hot, but it's just awful and really quite amateurish. Simon says he speaks for everyone that they are frustrated and disappointed because he waters down songs and that he didn’t need to water down one of the best pop songs ever. Jermaine asks what he should sing next week, to which Simon replies that he’s not sure he’s going to be there next week. SNAP! Ellen says perhaps Frankie Beverly and Maze...we shall see.

Andrew Garcia is a break dancer, and he’s singing You Give Me Something, by James Morrison. He’s without his guitar, and I think it’s pretty good, but boring. Like, I was back on Facebook because it got kind of long. I can’t really pick what I want. Last week, the songs were too short, this week, too long. Randy doesn’t like it. Likes the song, saying he has soul, but it not a soul singer and that it didn’t work for him. Ellen does like it, but says the problem is the he can’t top Straight Up in Hollywood Week, which *was* kind of awesome. Kara said that he’s not surprising her like Straight Up did. Simon says it’s problematic that he’s chosen the wrong song 2 weeks in a row, and that this song will not make him stand out. Simon thinks he’s better than what he’s shown and he’s frustrated. And I appreciate that frustration - I do believe at this point, the judges would prefer to be lavishing praise instead of saying the same thing over and over and over and OVER again.

Aaron Kelly’s video shows him so awestruck by Simon that it’s cute. Aaron is singing My Girl by the Temptations. Isn’t this the kid who blew the Four Tops during Hollywood week? Hmph. Okay, the vocal is okay, but I want him to stop bouncing around on the stage - he’s making me nervous. So, how to say this. I thought this was okay, even good for him. But the thing is, his vocal performances never make me forget he’s 16. I remember last year, Alison Iraheta made me think she was out and out lying about her age. She had a presence that was beyond her years. But sweet Aaron is a great 16 year old performer. It’ll be interesting to see how far he goes, Randy likes this young kid who can really sing. He liked the beginning, but was eh on the end. Ellen finds he has a whole lot more confidence, but doesn’t love his song choice, calling it forgettable. She wishes he had picked another song. Kara really liked it, and really likes him. She finds him consistent, and appreciates his control, thinking he’s only going to get better. Simon didn’t like the song, saying it was all over the place. Simon offers that it’s all there, but he has to figure out what kind of artist he wants to be. He said the arrangement was too old fashioned. He offers that he has to decide what kind of artist he wants to be and come out ever week and be that artist. Kara thought he put his own spin on it.

Tim Urban is also a victim of nerves. We get to see Simon’s critique last week, who told him he needs to get it together. And what I saw of his performance has miles to go to be considered a hot mess. He’s singing Get High tonight. And this performance is closer to a hot mess than last week, but not by much. His voice is very...uh..uneven. And I’m thinking he missed more notes than he got, which is unfortunate. He seems like such a nice guy, but based on that - I’m having a hard time seeing why he got to the top 24. Randy doesn't like it, and you know he doesn’t because he asked what he thought before he started his critique. Ellen says he has no charisma or stage presence, but that he’s so adorable, and perhaps he would be great as an actor who could also sing. I see her point. Kara liked the song choice, but she said she didn’t make it his own. She said he’s not there yet, but that *maybe* he could get there. But maybe not on AI this year. Simon, in a startling display, disagreed with all of them, saying he was more relevant tonight than others tonight. He liked that he took the criticism, and didn’t whine about it, that he obviously listened. Simon complimented his work ethic, and let that be a heads up to you lippy contestants: don’t back talk. Take the criticism and work hard to change it. You may still suck, but they won’t slam you as bad. Simon may very well have bought Tim another week.

And ending the night is Lee Dewyze. I hope he sticks around now that I’ve learned how to spell his last name. He’s singing Lips of an Angel. You know what? I like Lee - I really like the sound of his voice. I’ve never heard this song before, I don’t think, but I like him singing it. He kind of has an Adam Duritz vibe going on with me right now. I think this was one of the better performances tonight. Talk about faint praise, right? Randy calls it a bold move and like that he wanted to take a chance with it. He said he liked the song, despite the pitch problems. Randellen comes out, as Ellen echos everything he says, saying he was in the song and that it was great. Kara thought it was a big improvement over last week, and says he’s radio ready right now. She doesn’t want him to be nervous. Simon says that vocally he’s head and shoulders over his competition, but he has to believe in himself. He wants him to choose the right song and just own it.

And that’s a wrap. I think Mike, Casey, Alex, and Lee were my favorites tonight. I’m thinking that John Park and Jermaine are in trouble. Or maybe I just hope they are.

That’s all for now, Friends!