I Idolize You

AI is live AND two hours for 13 singers. The judges take the stage and it's a toss up on who has the better hair...Jennifer or Randy. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Just kidding. Both Jennifer and Steven are rocking the hair, but Jennifer, once again, looks hot. Or as they say in my beloved hometown, hawt.

Ryan asks who our favorites of the 13 are, and really? Do we know names yet, or are we still in "the one that sang [insert song here]. The idols are singing songs by their favorite idols...which is essentially another way of saying free for all, so we will see how this pans out. I've said before...no mentors this year. Well, no star mentors. The are using producers from Interscope records and I like this much better...no self serving artist who is dropping a disc, and more importantly? No Miley Cyrus.

Lauren's idol is Shania Twain because "she's the first artist to mix country and pop", and we're just going to assume that she meant the first in her lifetime because she doesn't want to rain down the wrath of Bonnie Raitt. Anyhoo, Lauren is singing Any Man of Mine, and I'm caught by how out of breath she appears. I don't know if she's nervous or if she literally ran from makeup to the stage. This did not work for me at all...and what in the WORLD is she wearing. Steven starts with how much he loves her voice (he hated it), but says he simply wishes it were more kick ass. Jennifer says its time for her to step up her game, that she can sing...Randy says her voice is bigger than what she just did, and I think Lauren knows that. The sheepish thank you at the end of her performance was a bit of a clue. When asked how she thought she did, she said "I had a good time". Translation: Steven told me he runs laps before performances and I thought it would help me. Poor thing..not her best performance by a country mile.

Casey is singing A Little Help From My Friends, By Joe Cocker, which I love, if for no other reason than we get a clip of Joe Cocker...who...what is the deal with Joe Cocker? He's the reason i think the term batsh!t was coined, even though no one would dare apply it to Uncle Joe. I love Casey. He's got a great vibe going on, and wait...what is this? A chorus! This guy is crazy and the very awesome thing he did was resist the urge to do the Joe Cocker growl when the music breaks in this song during the bridge (you know the part...where the chorus sings "do you need anybody??" and all Joe can do is growl?) This worked for me...I love him in spite of the fact that I think Casey is one bad critique away from a manifesto. Jenny from the Block says she goes by what she feels, and that she loved it. She says it blew her away and that she grabbed Randy at one point and said "what am I watching?" and said she was watching someone important. Randy said he loved it, and listening to him is fun. Steven calls Casey a rainbow of talent and a plethora of passion. Hookay.

Ashthon is singing Diana Ross and she sounds good in rehearsal...for a bit. But I'm kinda over Ashthon so let's see how this goes. Oh this begins rather rockily (is that a word?) for me. Her voice sounds very unsure of what's she's doing. I applaud her taking the judge's advice about Diana Ross, but this...um...stinks. And oh! I just looked up and she's channeling Diana Ross. What a mess. I'm glad this is over. Randy says he liked it...what? He calls it a safe move but that he thinks she grew with the performance. And Steven agrees with Randy that there's a lot more to see from her. Jennifer says she could tell that it got away from her in some places, but compliments her for pulling it back together, and that while she would have preferred a more familiar Diana Ross song, all in all it wasn't bad. And...

...WHAT? Just what the hell??? This is the second week that they've soft pitched their critique to Ashthon. What do they see that I am not seeing? That performance was, at best, beneath mediocre and the only one who even hinted that it was less than a home run was Jennifer. It's clear Ashthon is an early favorite for the judges, so she needs to step up her game and be worthy of it.

Paul's idol is Ryan Adams (who?), and he's singing I Wish You Would (I think). Uh-oh. I really like Paul, but it may hurt him that this is not a familiar song (or maybe it is to everyone else but me). Paul's very quirky, which is great, but quirky and an unfamiliar song may not work for America. Steven says it was a little pitchy, and to find a song next time whose chorus is in a comfortable key for him, but that he loves him. Jennifer says he really touched the audience, and that she hasn't heard of the song EITHER. Randy has heard of the group, and loves him for the show he put on. But both Jennifer and Randy both say they hope the audience gets him. Another soft pitch critique, but it's okay because I like Paul.

Random? What is the deal with House? That's a creepy dude, right there.

Pia's up next, and she looks so pretty. She's singing Celine Dion's version of All By Myself. She's rocking it in rehearsal, let's hope that continues. This is quite good, I think. How come we didn't see much of her before the final 24? She's doing a great job of making this not too treacly. Nicely done, Pia. Steven loved it - they showed his face while she was singing and he was mesmerized. Jennifer is nearly speechless wondering how she could top last week, but that she did it. Randy says she has such a natural gift that he was impressed that took on one of the big three (Mariah, Celine, or Whitney). Steven said that she slammed it, and that is was the culmination of all the work she's done so far. Um, Steven? Let's hope that culmination comes in about 10 weeks or so, Steven. Peaking now would not be a good idea.

James Durbin (Adam Lambert wannabe) is singing Maybe I'm Amazed...a song I love, so I'm gonna need him to not eff this up. Okay, well he idolizes Paul McCartney, and it actually sounded good in rehearsals. Okay, it wasn't bad, but singing Paul McCartney while wearing chains doesn't quite compute for me. Yeah, it was good. I just don't like him. I admit it's probably personal. Randy says he's one of his favorites, and goes on to tell a story so that he can name drop a bit. He said that he slayed it and loved the falsetto (that WAS nice). Steven says that he did a great job...actually he rambled a bit and it was lost on me. Jen tells him to get used to the applause as he has a wonderful melodic quality to his voice. And then James demonstrates why he gets on my ever-loving nerves by playing volume games with the audience. Really, Kid. It's enough. I don't honestly think he's as full of himself as he seems to be, but every class I've ever taken says perception is reality, so there. He's pompous.

Hayley is singing LeAnn Rimes' Blue, the song that made everyone compare Lee Ann Rimes to Patsy Cline. And...uh...I'm not sure about it. The first note made me scrunch up my nose. Yeah, her yodeling is awkward. I do like her though, and I like this song. I'm just not sure about her singing this song. She looks lovely again tonight. JenVen really liked it; Steven says it was beautiful and that the country western world was roaring. Jen said the yodeling was special, and I'm pretty sure she didn't mean special the way I would have. Randy said it's good that she changed it up from Alycia Keys, but said it was boring from him. She plucks my nerves by trying to talk over Randy's critique; everyone knows how much that bugs me.

Jacob Lusk is singing R. Kelly's I Can Believe I Can Fly. Really? Is your Mom okay with you idolizing R. Kelly, Jacob? Jacob's video is memorable for his RIDICULOUS fade that he was sporting when he was 9. And that makes me feel old since guys were rockin' the fade when I was in COLLEGE. Okay, I don't think this song does his voice any favors...OH! chorus!! You can soar, Sweetie, just stop yelling at me. Okay, here's the thing about this...the big part of the song really worked, because Jacob has a big voice. BUT, I feel like perhaps he threw away the quiet part of the song to get to the big part, which makes me not love this as much as I could have if the quieter part had been more intense. Steven loves it and says he can't judge it. (um, Steven, 19 Entertainment called. They'd like a refund.) Jennifer says it's hard to judge him because he feels so much when he sings...which, yeah, I get it, but 19's calling you too. Randy sips from the Paula cup of happy saying he's happy about the talent, but it occurs to him that they picked the talent or some such nonsense. He notes that Jacob fell off a bit, but the end was awesome.

Cutie patootie Thea is singing Smile that she thinks is Michael Jackson but really it's Charlie Chaplin but of course Thea doesn't know that because she's 15 and has never heard of a life of silent movies. The beginning of this is lovely - she has a lovely tone to her voice but then...the music speeds up and it has a Lauryn Hill vibe and whatever that note was is not a note that the band is playing. But it got better toward the end. I'm decidedly eh on this. Randy loves the intro (I KNOW!) comparing her to Michael and Adele, but then didn't love the music arrangement and wishes the whole sng had been like the beginning. Steven agrees with Randy, but eases off when he can see Thea is slightly upset by the critique. Jennifer thought the arrangement was interesting, and by that she means lousy. Thea says she felt "a lot more better" at the beginning of the song. And. Yeah.

We come back from the break and Thea is upset...poor thing. Stop crying, it was okay.

Stefano is singing Lately by Stevie Wonder. This should be good. I was so impressed with his wild card performance last week. But he needs to stop making the wonky camera faces and what the hell is this arrangement. Oh I hate this. The arrangement of this song is all wrong. Because this is one of my favorite songs, I KNOW that Stevie is tortured in this song. He realizes his lover loves another and he's broken up, but he doesn't want to say anything to her because he's afraid she'll leave. That is NOT a story that deserves a dance beat. Ew. Even Stefano's lovely vocal quality cannot cheer me up with that effed up arrangement. Steven says he pulled it off, and thought it was beautiful. Jennifer says that he had her dancing and that it's hard to do with such a classic ballad. Randy said he slayed it, and that Stevie would be proud. Again, his vocals were very nice, but I pretty much hated it. I have to listen to Stevie's version again to get this one out of my mind.

Karen is singing Selena. Oh, this will be tricky...singing Selena on front of Jennifer Lopez. Good luck. Oh. My. The beginning is shaky. Either she's nervous or this doesn't work for her lower register. The middle is better, but overall, as much as I loved Karen last week, this is not working for me. I was hoping to like this more. Jennifer says she looks beautiful (of course she does, she looks like Jennifer in Selena!), but says she was obviously uncomfortable up there, and that she was having pitch problems. Randy says it was sleepy for him...I liked the way Steven put it - she used up all of her energy to get to the end of the song...definitely not as good as I was expecting.

Scotty earns my love just a little bit more by saying "kicked up" in that country accent and it's kinda great. He's singing Garth Brooks' The River. Okay, so far Scotty is a bit of a one-trick pony. But his one trick is a good one. His voice is rich and melodic and this performance sounds about how you'd expect it would. Randy says if it ain't broke, don't fix it, and that country is where he belongs. Scotty is going to be in trouble if they have disco night this year. Steven loves it too...I think...Steven's been deep into the drink tonight. Jennifer is happy to see he's connecting with the audience and loves it too. If Scotty has a formula, he worked it tonight.

Last up, Naima is singing Rihanna. And again? SHE'S your idol? Nothing against RiRi, but seriously? Naima is lockin' and poppin' in rehearsal...this should be good. Okay, this is a lot more current than anything she's done yet, right? That's good, it makes her younger to me...oh whoops! Raggae Rap!! I actually like that...oh but wait what was the Beyond Thunderdome dance? Okay, I think Walter just summed it up magnificently: "what started as overzealous has disintegrated into a horse ass mess". Yeah, what he said. I'm confused by this whole thing and I'm glad it's last because my mind is scrambled. Steven said she had some pitch problems, but that he adores her for bringing something different. Jennifer just basically says damn what you heard, that was a great performance. Her critique is actually very constructive however, in terms of learning to control her vocals when she's dancing. Randy says he does care about the pitch, but that she obviously learned how hard it is to sing and dance at the same time. Hmmm...I'm still confused and it's not helped by Naima using the word overstand, instead of understand.

Bottom three? Maybe Karen, Ashthon, and Paul?



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