It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday

Thanksgiving week began as it always does ~ shopping for food, attempting to clean the house, the realization that there will be way too much food and how does that happen ever single year? Tuesday I went to Alex's school and had a Thanksgiving feast, complete with chicken nuggets (which were a LOT more popular than my homemade turkey dressing, let me tell you). And through it all, the weather was that freaky mid-Atlantic November weather. Monday and Tuesday it rained like a mug, and Wednesday and Thursday were so gorgeous you didn't need a jacket and you're all...okay I'm loving this but it's going to have to chilly up a bit for Christmas.

Through it all, I remember feeling so thankful. The way the leaves fell off the trees. The way my kid will re-enact the Lion King (and ask me to be Rafiki to write on his forehead). Even for too much food. For my pedicure. For a house about to implode with dirty laundry. Big and small, I remembered being so thankful, and saying a prayer for those less fortunate than me.

And then...

Thanksgiving weekend I lost one of my best friends. And I'm a mess. Kevin is the strong one. That's what we do. I cry over sad movies. He makes fun of my ugly pants. He sits at the edge of my dining room table and shakes his head at my disorganization. My son calls him Uncle Kevin. His daughters call me Auntie Tye..well, the littlest one does. His older daughters just call me, simply Tyuana.

I look for God's Grace whenever and wherever I can. I know it's there...and I know He will show it to me...if I can only look past how absolutely heartbroken I am. My heart breaks for his children, for his family, and yes, for me. Kevin was the brother God gave me because I didn't have any of my own. Kevin put me on a plane to my parents house when I went through the worst break up ever. Kevin ALWAYS made me laugh...no matter how bad my mood was. He had an ear for everyone, he was always willing to listen. But he wasn't always willing to talk. I would always pry for information and he'd call me nosey and I'd be all...like that's news. Several years ago, before either of us were married, we hopped to 4 different Thanxgivings...that was epic. I ate at all 4 places...thought I would die, but each house offered something different. That was the first time I met all of Kevin's family...I love them. They are family to me, because they are his family. Then there was the time, when we still worked together (this still makes me laugh), I had to talk to him about work...but he wasn't answering me...I kept talking and talking and finally he shushes me and turns up the radio. Barry White was playing...he turns it up and just starts singing...and I'm like...UH HELLO? And he simply said...it's Barry. Recently, when the pace of cheering and working and parenting and life had caught up with me, and I hadn't seen him in a while...he just said, slow down. Kevin always hated Doctor Phil because he said that man got rich dispensing common sense. He was a man of few words (unless he was going on one of his famous, funnier than Dennis Miller rants), but all of his words had meaning. To me. To his family. To his children. To my child.

Walter always said that Kevin could say the things he was thinking and not get in trouble for it. So it was usually Kevin that would tell me that I spent too much money, or that my pants were hideous...or gently, that I could stand to hit the gym. But he only did it when I wanted to go. He told me once...if you were happy, I'd never say anything. I'm just reminding you of what YOU want.

There was the time his middle daughter, out of the blue, started calling him Mr. Kevin Merriweather.

Or when he very seriously told me that he had to break up with Nia Long because he realized she was a smoker.

Or the time I had him turn on my lights to make it seem like I was in the office when I was nowhere close.

Or the time, I got my girlfriend's pound cake recipe. I had promised Kevin, when his mom died, that I'd make him a pound cake. I got the best recipe I knew. I swear to this day my girlfriend gave it to me wrong, but I was putting too much baking soda in it. Cake after cake after cake fell. When I finally got one that resembled food, but weighed about 17 pounds I gave it to Kevin. He thanked me and told me it was good and took it home. He told Walter later, and swore him to secrecy, that it was too heavy and he couldn't eat it. But he didn't want me to know because I had worked so hard.

Here's the problem...I don't have enough stories for my lifetime. I was just asking him how we were going to "do it up" for his 40th. I was older in years...he was my big brother in every other way.

A couple of weeks ago -- I was driving home from work -- and the fog was misting through the trees, creating a shadow in front of the sun. The trees still had a lot of their leaves. The picture was breathtaking and I remember thinking...this must be what heaven is like. This must be what people see so they aren't afraid to leave this earth...the promise of something bigger, more beautiful. And then, I got a little freaked out that God was showing me this because it was my turn. But it wasn't. Maybe he showed me that picture so that I'd know where Kevin was going was beautiful. At times like this, all I have is my faith...I know that someone gently took Kevin by the hand on Thursday and took him to a lovely, peaceful place.

...but he's still supposed to be here.

There are no words to describe how much I will miss him. How I still think this is all a cruel cruel joke. You know there's...maybe a 5 second interval in the morning before your memory kicks in? Especially when something bad happens? That is happening to me. Saturday morning I asked Walter if I had dreamed it all.

He told me no.

I love you, Kevvie. Rest in Peace.

Sharp Dressed Man

Okay, so...new experiences in parenting never end. Today was my first school picture day. We'd gotten plenty of notice, and I had figured out last week what Alex was going to wear: jeans, a rugby shirt, and hopefully it would be cool enough for a turtleneck. Easy enough, right? I hardly thought this would turn into a *thing*...Had it all gone as planned, this is how he would have looked [I took this tonight].

You see where this went wrong, right? I used the word PLANNED in conjunction with my life.

On a somewhat unrelated note. I'm *tired*. My frenetic pace this month is beginning to take its toll, and when I got up this morning, decided there was no earthly reason to begin my day so quickly, and went back to bed. So Alex and I both got a little extra sleep this morning. Alex's school day begins at 8:30, and class time begins between 8:45 and 9. I always figure he needs to be dropped off by 8:40, at the latest ~

7:15 - Gently shake the boy awake (we still haven't conquered the whole - stay in bed all night, and complicating things is that now Alex sleeps with Woody from Toy Story). Really. You can imagine all of the inappropriate things that run through my mind when I wake up face to face with a Woody.

7:30 - Finally, His Highness rousts himself to the bathroom, where he brushes his teeth. His newest thing, when rinsing is to mimic a surprise. For instance: "Mommy? How old are you? [takes sip] "41". [spits water out as if he can't believe that I've not yet turned to stone]

7:33 [And here's where it all goes to hell] I'm dressing him in the outfit that I thought was so great for a kindergartner, and say "Alex! Picture day, aren't you excited?"

Alex: Mommy, can I wear a tie?

A tie? Who am I raising? Alex P. Keaton? A Warbler from Glee? Alex's school has no dress code, and he's worn a necktie exactly twice: at his Uncle Parrish's wedding and Easter Sunday (courtesy of my mother, because you know, nothing says Resurrection like dressing your grandson like a City Councilman) I am not that formal. The last time I wore a suit to work, my boss complimented me on how nice I looked. Translation: "Jesus, I was beginning to think you slept in khakis and sweaters".

Anyway, I tell Alex that we don't have a tie. I then ask, puzzled, why he's just bringing it up that he wanted to wear a tie, that we had to go to school.

Alex: "When you and Daddy got married, he wore a tie, so I thought you would know that."

Okay. At this point, it's 8:00 and I figure it's not the time to get into kid logic. So, no tie. He then proceeds to pick up his glow in the dark dinosaur shirt and asks to wear that. Easy answer. No, because they school said no black. And plus...really? From a tie to a dinosaur shirt?

Alex [pointing at the rugby shirt like it's made of stick pins]: But Mommy, that shirt is black.

Me: No, it's blue.

[crickets chirping]

Then he points to his button down shirt in the closet. Can I wear that, pointing to a shirt from LAST birthday's pictures, and I'm thinking there's no way in hell that it fits. Well, it must have been entirely too big because it fit him perfectly. The school instructions said no stripes, but it's now after 8, and we still haven't had breakfast.

Okay, fine - you can wear this shirt.

"Please button my sleeves Mommy. Alex always says please and thank you. He's a kind and benevolent ruler. As I'm buttoning, he spies a pair of black socks, and excitedly says:

"THAT sock can be my necktie."

[8:10]

Me: Ah. No. Goes into the drawer...this is the only necktie you have, and it --

Alex: Okay I wear it.

Me: --doesn't match.

Alex: No, Mommy. It'll be fine. I wear dis.

Me: Alex, your shirt is blue striped. Your tie is yellow with a design. I really don't think this matches.*

*I NEVER buy ties. I am impossible at matching them. And even in my limited experience, I can see this doesn't match.

I take my next breath to explain that he's going to look a hot buttery mess, and then remember the numerous conversations that I've had with my veteran parent friends about choosing your battles. This is not a battle to choose - after all, who of us doesn't have a COLLECTION of bad school pictures? And at this point, I can't argue much because it's...

[8:20]

So downstairs we go, had breakfast, packed lunches finally got to school. In the turtleneck, striped shirt, and printed tie at...8:55.

ONE HOUR to dress 3 feet, 10 inches. I'm sure there are people who DID get married today and didn't take so long.

God bless the little test pattern as he grabbed just a little more of his independence. And a small part of me was very proud that Alex was determined to wear his own clothes on his own terms. But the larger part of me wondered what he'd want to wear for Christmas pictures. A tux?

See You in September

Okay, so, I had the best day today!! Coach Tanya's and my Little Lady Hawks took the field for the first games of the season. They were ADORABLE! It was so much fun to watch them enjoy themselves on the field.

It was warm today, but with Labor Day in a couple of days, Alex starting kindergarten last Monday, and of course, the fact that it's dark by 8:00 nowadays, it means that Fall is right around the corner. So much to love about fall, cooler days, warmer foods, and time together with friends. I got married in autumn, Alex was born in autumn, and of course, thanks to my Waltie, we are a football family. Autumn is our time...it makes me happy.

Of course the day only got better because I got some time to craft. I promise, my blog will not be all about the card making...I have some funny musings that I'm rolling around in my head. But these hops and challenges are on a deadline, which means that I have to post on time.

HQ of A Muse Studio challenged us on their FB page to do a layout using onyx and orange, the colors of fall. And while I don't have any specific halloween stamps from A Muse just yet, I have some colors, and some owls, and with Glee rolling on the DVR - this is what I produced:

Hard not to love the owls with their big old eyes, or how they sit quietly, taking in everything. Hard not to love autumn, the way the leaves go away and the air gets chillier, sending everyone inside until spring rolls around once more. Hard not to love the sense of renewal of it all. Hard not to love that life slows down somewhat in the colder months. Hard not to love. Period.

The fine print: [all supplies by a muse studio: Stamp set: Owl's Well; Cardstock: orange and onyx polka dot; Ribbon: orange; Copic Markers. You can shop for yourself here]

At the Hop

Hello and welcome to my first ever Blog Hop!! If you are participating in the blog hop, you should have come from Dana Vincent's blog and if not, then you should start from the beginning with Samantha's blog until you come to my blog.

We are highlighting items from the holiday catalog, and there are so many things to love in there. This Santa jacket is my absolute favorite, and with a little flocking on the collar and fringe, it's just like Santa's furry jacket.

I'm starting to become the Poster Girl for Clean and Simple - this card? Two stamps, 2 pieces of Paper, and a ribbon!

[All supplies are by A Muse Studio -- Stamp set: Naughty or Nice; Ribbon: Cherry; Cardstock: Candy Cane Stripe and Onyx]

All of these supplies are available at my web site! Or please contact me to schedule a workshop! I love it!!

Thanks for stopping by!! Now on to your next stop, Karen Crisp's blog...I LOVE what she's done with Santa's Coats...I'm totally going to case (scraplift, steal) that idea!

Happy Friday!!

Cruisin!

Okay, so, I find that I'm no longer a spontaneous person. I didn't mean to become one who plans everything (and some would tell you that I'm not), but for the most part, I know what each day is going to hold. And honestly, with the schedule of being an employee, Mom, wife, cheerleader coach, and the President of "Turn the World into A Dance Floor" Movement, I'm glad about that.

However, I had to throw caution to the wind, and luckily had a sister who was feeling as spontaneous as I was. I took a road trip to Philly (well, King of Prussia) on a TUESDAY to go to a stamp workshop. A Muse has taken the show on the road, and it was SO worth it.

A Friday list -- the 10 best things, in no particular order, that made this trip, on a scale of 1 - 10, a 23.

1. ROAD TRIP = SNACKS. My workout's were extra hard this week, because I think I have calorie immunity if I'm going beyond a 50 mile radius. How I love peanut M&Ms. Oh, wait, the athlete in me struggles with listing this as #1, but it IS in no particular order.

2. Spending time with my friend Isunji. I don't get to see her enough. We laughed, we listened to Terrence Trent D'Arby - we caught up in that way that old girlfriends do. It was beautiful.

3. Linda. Linda started A Muse many years ago in her basement, and grew it into a successful business, all while raising her kids. And she's as nice as they come. I couldn't BELIEVE that she remembered me calling the store so many moons ago. Talk about customer service. I'm going to trust that she didn't remember me because I was bat sh!t crazy.

4. Heather. Heather is A Muse Studio Chief Creative Officer. Okay, first, I love that title. I want to be someone's Chief Creative Officer. I felt an immediate kinship to Heather, who has such a fun spirit (and she let me spruce up before she took my picture). Here the three of us are, at the end of a long day, still smiling!!

5. There was a HUGE mall near where I was. I didn't make it, but somehow I think I smile bigger in the presence of commerce.

6. I met some lovely people at the workshop. I've always maintained that crafty people are a friendly bunch. We are always willing to share, and laugh. It's nice to make a new connection, especially when you're nurturing an old one.

7. I remembered that I am not indispensable, and I can leave work for an afternoon and it. Will. Be. Okay. I have to keep that in mind. It's what I do, not who I am.

8. I'd be lying if I didn't say it wasn't a challenge to drive 6 hours over 12 hours. But I think every now and again it's good to push yourself to do what you think you can no longer do. It keeps you young.

9. On the way home, we stopped for a gnosh at McDonalds, and I took the liberty of getting some smurfs. When given the choice, Alex chooses where he wants to eat based on the toy that's offered, and right now, the McDonald's happy meals are offering Smurfs. I kinda love this - it's a total throwback. And the McD's in Philly had different smurfs, so I got them all (to save us a trip to McDonalds in the future). I lined them on Alex's bathroom sink, and when he discovered them the next morning, he was convinced that there were more in the house. Or, as he told Walter, it was Christmas. I love how my kid thinks there's magic all the time. That makes me happy.

10. Last but not least, I got a chance to nurture my love of my craft, some time, as my friend Alenka said, to do the things that makes me "me". I think we all need to remember what makes us who we truly are, and do the things that remind of us of that!

Happy Friday!!

Schools Out for Summer...

...but not for much longer.

A's teacher's aide has headed back to school, and I wanted a card to say thanks for everything she did! I really loved how this card turned out (all products a|s studio). Red, white, and blue is one of my all time favorite combinations and I LOVE this lined paper!

All of these products are on sale as a part of the A Muse Spotlight for August! One of the many things I love about A Muse is how they have sales...you know sales just speak to me. Along with the stamp sets, which I've listed below, they will also put the coordinating cardstock on sale - a fanTAStic way to get samples of many colors.

Here's are the stamp sets on sale - 10% off!

Stamp Sets:

School Days (used in this card)

Rock Star

Personal Stationary

The Mighty Jungle

Past Due

Coordinating Card Stock - Collegiate

One thing that I love about most of these stamp sets is that they go really well with scrapbooking!

Enjoy, and as always, contact me with any questions, or order from my website.

Colour My World

Okay, so, I can see if I keep posting my love for the crafty, finding song titles for each post is going to be hard. But I'll keep trying.

Here's a card I made using only 2 stamps, 2 ink colors, 5 pearl buttons, and some ribbon. And of course, the paper. A Muse is all about the Clean and Simple designs, which really appeals to my desire to simplify! So if you've ever thought you wanted to make cards, but didn't have time, or the inclination to sit over a craft desk for hours, I have great news for you! You don't have to!!

I love this stuff.

Side Alex Note: Does anyone else think they are raising a rock star? Seriously! After dancing his heart out yesterday, Alex is STILL asleep. And when he wakes up, he's going to want a big breakfast. Sometimes I'm a mom, sometimes I'm a roadie.