As We Lay

Hello Gladiators!!
Was I the only one who drank in the recap episode like it was the best. Margarita. Ever? It was like my long lost friends came back to town...and they did NOT disappoint.
Okay, so in the finale last season, Fitz chose Olivia and they shook all sorts of sheets. I believe he referred to some superpower...and it was indeed. But. All hell is breaking loose in GladiatorLand. Mellie has outed the president's affair, and she is coming off the RAILS that the president has just tossed her to the wind. Fitz has dared her to fight it, telling her exactly how it's going to go down and their relationship will slake a real debate on race. And really, Fitz. Your wife is cray. Stopping poking that bear. Anyway, she's threatening to lose her mind, Defiance (you know, that tiny town that threw the presidency) is getting known by just too many people (side note: my boss always says the only secrets that are kept are the ones you tell God. And. Word.) Anyhoo, the latest person to find out is the governor who lost the primary to Fitz. And of course, wanting to come clean just doesn't happen in Washington, he wants to be on the ticket. However, if Defiance comes out, we have no president in peril, so it turns out David Rosen really wasn't working with Billy Chambers - he dupes him into getting the card back and uses it to get his job back with the US Attorney's Office. And because I love David, it's not despicable.
Cyrus, trying to keep all do these crazy assed people in order, has a heart attack. Olivia is, uncharacteristically, still clinging to the hope that she and Fitz will finally be together, even after Cyrus telling Fitz about her getting busy with Jake, as well as Fitz going Carl Bruener on Justice Thorton. I told you, he SAID it was a superpower. But - Olivia takes one more opportunity to save Fitz...to tell him everyone has a clean slate and he needs to go, get reelected, and be the president she knows he can be. She kisses him goodbye and this is the end of Fitz and Liv. Santa Claus and the Easter bunny see her out because yeah...that's how real it was.
By the end, it is all too neat. Cue the happy montage of everyone getting their life together and getting back to normal. Olivia leaves her fab apartment to go jogging and is immediately met with reporters asking if it's true about her and the president. She's whisked into a limousine where Park Bench Guy, aka Rowan, aka Byron the jilted senator from A Different World, is waiting. She looks at him, incredulous, and says "Dad". End scene.
Okay. That was 3 paragraphs worth of one of the best finales last season. Hulu, Netflix, on demand. Go watch it if you didn't.
The premiere opened up right where last season left off. She's in the limousine giving her dad the stink eye, and he remarks that she hasn't said a word in 22 minutes and why couldn't she have been like that as a child. And ha. Rowan delivers Olivia to a plane hanger where he spells out the plan for getting her out of this, but not before delivering a speech that is laced with the special type of vitriol parents save for their adult children who have royally. Shat. The. Bed. In his mind, falling for the president was not only dangerous, it was stupid and beneath her, calling her aspirations of being FIRST LADY mediocre. And. Damn. I always thought that was a cool job to have but everyone on this show scoffs at it. Eh well...still get to go to lots of great parties. Anyway. Rowan's tirade was hurtful, stinging, and brilliant. Remember how I said last season Shonda 'busta' Rimes, never leans on the racism angle, but gets it right all the time? I don't know any one of my minority friends who hasn't gotten the twice-as-better-half-as-much speech. Granted, mine was about scholarships and jobs and not sleeping with the leader of the free world, but you get my point. For them to NOT touch on race, especially given Fitz is a conservative in super political buttoned up Washington, would be too disingenuous. Anyhoo...my friend Parrish says that Rowan getting dumped by Whitley Gilbert all those years ago seems to have turned him into a douche. And. Word.
Meanwhile, back at the White House, Cy is all about the damage control. He wants the VP to take the meetings and, in a really funny exchange, she says no. She tells him she's doing the Lord's work, and he tells her The Lord doesn't vote. And. Ha. She goes in to tell him to, essentially, stop picking on her, that she never says anything about his Godless homosexuality and the brown baby they bought into the fold. And ha ha. [those two have the best exchanges. He never explains to her just how effed up her thinking is, and she's convinced she's got The Lord on her side. Who doesn't vote.] Eventually the president and the Vice President bond over scotch because...that sh!t burns going down and you'll agree to anything to stop drinking it.
Meanwhile, Olivia gets on the plane with her tail between her legs, and calls to say good bye to Cyrus. Cy begs Olivia to get off the plane (rightly) telling her that if she disappears the president will think he ordered her killed. She tells him he's a monster and he says...but I'm your monster. And...aw. So Olivia remembers that she is OLIVIA POPE and gets off the plane, demanding the driver take her to her office. Obviously, because Pope and Associates is run by Olivia pope, she is met by throngs of press and is escorted to the office by Huck. The gladiators are all gathered around doing their usual...aw hell [side note! Damn Abby! You look good, girl] when Olivia walks in and says lets get to work, and they are all 'dafuq. Have you WATCHED the news'? Well, Olivia hasn't, but all of her clients have, because they are all...'girl. Wow. Sorry about your luck. Let me hand you over to Uncle Click.' [seriously. You know you played that game.] Olivia is learning, sadly, that you're only as good in DC as your last scandal. Olivia has stayed, I reckon, pretty scandal free, but damn she's landed in the mother of scandals.
Frustrated, Olivia calls Daddy-O, asking where Jake is. (Jake, at the end of season 2, was tossed in a hole for disobeying an order.) Rowan makes it clear that orders are just that in his business and not to be disobeyed. Actually, he goes all Colonel Jessup and tells Olivia that without him, the nation would be a big mess. Rowan repeats the White House will throw her to the wolves, explaining what Olivia already knows. This isn't about the president. It's about the power and they both know the president has none. He tells her she's out of options and she tells him...ah...no.
And she's really not because she has a secret code with a secret password, and suddenly, there's a dozen limos leaving her garage in all different directions. And I gotta tell you. Olivia has done some cool sh!t on this show, but that was cool. I very much want a code like that.
Of course a code and limos can only be delivering her to the President. In a bunker, somewhere where he gives her hell for pulling the trigger on the secret code, and that using it was for an emergency. And hello? If this isn't an emergency, what is? Because clearly, them playing loosely goosey has gotten them in trouble because there's now video of Fitz leaving Olivia's apartment. (Those damned secret service men. I don't expect the bad one (Hal) to help, but Tom? Tom should have seen that camera.) Anyhoo, clearly Olivia needs to fix this, and who should show up, but Mellie. And underneath that Steel Magnolias hair, Mellie is just gorgeous. She refers to Olivia as a whore one too many times, and Olivia is like...hold up. And here's the thing. Mellie knows she's not a whore. And because she knows, she's not okay with them handling this scandal by telling the truth, because then she knows the public will know this just wasn't an affair - she carefully details all of her humiliation - knowing he went to her inauguration night, calling out Olivia's name when he was shot (by Justice Verna's assassin), things that make it quite clear that she knows this is more than an affair, and when Fitz tells her she knows he's in love with her, my heart broke a little, just as Mellie's face crumbles. Olivia, realizing, she owes Mellie this pound of flesh, asks what story she feels comfortable telling. They decide on some of the truth [it is DC afterall] and Mellie stomps off. And they are alone...and he wants to know how she's doing. She's clearly not fine and he takes his jacket off and holds her for about 5 seconds. And the way she melts into him, without a word, is exactly why Mellie called her a whore about 50 times. And why Olivia didn't care. And damn...Tony Goldwyn. I love you.
But there is still the tiny matter of Olivia's career circling the drain, and who exactly told on Olivia. We find it's leaked in the WaPo Style section...and that it's by a columnist who hangs with the secret service guys, so of course I think it's Hal. But it's not! It's Tom! The one I thought understood what secret meant. But he knows what secret means. He does this on behalf of the PRESIDENT. Dafuq?
Mellie has figured this out, because she's a bored First Lady with a lot of time on her hands, and for real...? Quit dissing that job! And she calls Fitz romantic and idiotic. But he goes all Carl Bruner on her and tells her he did it to set Olivia free from Mellie. They have declared war on each other...and that seems like a jolly set up to the season.
But but but!! Just as they are about to come clean, just as Cyrus is using his kill folder on Olivia Pope (which isn't a literal kill folder, but kill your reputation), the gladiators, who confirm they are gladiators, and not bitches, leak to the press snippets of the Vice Presidents chief of staff saying how doable Fitz is [and girl. Holla.] The press runs with it and concedes the public owes Olivia Pope an apology. So everyone is happy. Everyone except Fitz and Olivia. Olivia takes her on as a client because she knows they are using her. She also knows that there but for the grace of God goes her, and Olivia wears a white hat, don't you know.
Turns out, Rowan has legitimate concerns about his daughter. He has Cy kidnapped from his home and a sleeping James and is delivered to B6-13, where he shows Cy a file from Fitz' days with Jake in theatre, and Cyrus says "oh my God". And for an admitted monster like Cyrus to be taken aback, you know we are on the roller coaster for season 3!
Welcome back Gladiators!!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Who's Zooming Who?

Okay, so, anyone who has been within 100 feet of me over the past month knows that I have become obsessed with Scandal. Like "willing-to-stay-up-til-11-on-a-school-night obsessed". Like "Finally-forgiven-Tony-Goldwyn-for-killing-Patrick-Swayze-20-years-ago" obsessed.  Shonda Rimes is a gifted writer, we saw that on Grey's before Grey's got old. And if you watch Scandal, you realize that Grey's is old. Cyrus Beene is now getting all of Miranda Bailey's monologues.

So what is this Scandal all about, you say? What has half of America rooting for an illicit affair, you wonder?  And, if you think you can't possibly catch up before next week's finale - take heart.  Scandal was a mid season replacement last year, and only ran for 7 episodes. This season was a full 22-episode order. That means there's 28 episodes in the books. We can catch up on 28 episodes.  Scandal makes me love TV again.  TV is my first love, and AI (my last blogging passion) has let me down so horribly (Nicky Minaj and Mariah Carey? Show killers. Even Randy Jackson finally sees the stink on this show and is leaving his chair next year).  But I digress.  If I tried to go into great detail on the first 28 episodes, I'd likely be sitting here typing until the season finale, but I'm going to give you a detailed set up and the highlights..how's that?

The show opens with Quinn Perkins joining Olivia Pope and Associates (Gladiators in Suits) as a new lawyer. I always think of lawyer firms that have associates as being big companies, but Olivia Pope and Associates is but a team of 6, including Quinn.

- Olivia (Kerry Washington of the beautiful cheekbones and odd mouth.  I read somewhere that she's the first black woman in history to be the lead on a tv show.  But that can't be right - in my limited mind - Nell Carter comes to mind from Gimme a Break, and Esther Rolle from Good Times. Maybe they meant drama. Whatev)  Olivia Pope is a fixer - she tells us she's good, and she must be, as she can call anyone for a favor, and walks on and off the white house grounds like she's Sasha or Malia - without SS detail. Olivia's wardrobe is to KILL for. And it fits her nicely as I've never seen her actually eat. But she loves her wine. And her staff. And the President (oh how she loves the president). She talks fast, takes NO BULLSHIT (except from the President, but I think that's allowed), and she's lonely.
- Harrison Wright - a lawyer by trade. While we don't know his backstory, we know he's on parole and that he was in jail for 3 days. And whatever happened in those three days, it was real, because he has no desire to go back, despite realizing he operates in a very gray area of the law. No two ways about it, Harrison is fine, and I do wonder why it is that Olivia never looks at him, realizes that he's adorable, and goes off to make little Gladiator babies with him.
- Abby Whelan - snarky snarky liberal lawyer who was rescued from an abusive husband. Completely broke her radar on men, but more about that in a bit. Abby is quite bitchy from time to time, and she's the Greek Chorus of the show, because sometimes Olivia will tell them to do something and from my couch I'm like...dafuq? Abby is usually the one that is all...yeah, you're our girl, but is you crazy?
- Huck (no last name required) - The one person, perhaps on the show whose moral compass isn't on tilt. But he's a reformed assassin. Sorta.  And he goes to AA. But he doesn't drink. He's addicted to the high from killing people. But you know you can't say something like that in AA because even though everyone is trained to not judge, someone saying "I like torturing and killing people" will elicit at least a raised eyebrow and a "Jesus" from someone. Oh - also, Huck has this Rain Man like thing happening where he can hack into a computer just about anywhere. So he's an assassin and he's brilliant with a computer. And he's a victim of PTSD so from time to time, he stops bathing.  So just when you think you may want to date him, you're all...nah.
- Stephen Finch - adorable man-whore from the first season who went off to be normal in season 2, so he's not important.

Anyhoo, Quinn Perkins joins as the 6th Gladiator in the first episode. What Olivia Pope and Associates does by 'fixing' is save people's asses. Regularly.  Saving a decorated war hero from a bogus murder charge (they think he killed his girlfriend; in fact, he's gay).  Fixing it so that a revered bishop who dies in the arms of his lover is remembered for his work with the Lord, and not in the hotel), an airline pilot who is blamed for a plane crash, a business woman who is going to lose her job on a morals charge.  OPA is constantly either spinning or preventing scandals, which is why they have the loyal support of practically everyone in Washington. Saving a kidnapped kid (who actually kidnapped herself). Helping the wife of a foreign official stay in the US with her children..it goes on.  When there's a side story, it's almost always wrapped up in an episode, like Perry Mason.

But the scandals they have not fixed, the scandals at the heart of the series, and (in my opinion) for what the show is named, are the scandals that involve these very people. Folks, these people are a MESS.  I'm gonna give you the highlights in order, even though much of Scandal is told in flashback. In fact, the show opens in the 2nd Year of the President's term, but we actually met these people on the campaign trail.  Anyhow, the reason Quinn is in Washington is because she was on the run, accused of setting off a bomb in an office building that killed 7 people. She's hiding in a hotel and the next thing she knows she's been drugged and wakes up in DC overlooking the Mall, with a passport and id that say Quinn Perkins (and NOT Lindsey Dwyer, her real name), and a lot of money on the bedside table. So you know who ever did this is connected, and not just because she woke up in what could, from the view, be the Hotel Washington. That place ain't cheap.  Quinn, who is a lawyer and is smart, obviously knows something is fishy, but her choice is basically working with her hero Olivia (it's never quite explained why she worships Olivia) and going back to face charges of killing people. It's a no brainer and she suits up. She spends a lot of time watching and looking and wondering how and the hell Olivia is going to make payroll seeing as I've never seen a client PAY.

Obviously, if you've caught any channel 7 snippet about this show, you know one of the two main scandals is the fact that the President of the United States, Fitzgerald T. Grant (played brilliantly, painfully, by Tony Goldwyn) is in love with Olivia. Not just had an affair on the campaign trail, but is in love, wants to leave his southern bred lass First Lady for, in love with Olivia.  And here's where I think you get some of Shonda's best writing -- ever.  As tortured as it was with Derek and Meredith, Derek never had as much to lose.  Fitz literally has the weight of the free world on his shoulders, and the words he utters as he realizes he has this dream life that he worked so hard for and doesn't want it, are heartbreaking.

The other main scandal on the show is that President Grant is the President because of a teeny tiny election rigging that went on in a teeny tiny town of Defiance, Ohio.  You see, Hollis Doyle owns Cytron, the company who made these new machines. In his employ was Jesse, a computer geek who figured out how you could rig the machines.  He was paid handsomely by Hollis, fixed that one machine in Defiance, and (figurative) BOOM! Inauguration balls for Fitz, and his wife, Mellie. There was also some hot lovin' in the Oval office the first night, not with Mellie. We figure out very quickly which Secret Service agent was truly loyal, because on a run, he's all "Mr. President, I understand that you want to get your swerve on, but maybe not in the Oval Office where there are cameras".  We also figure out the other Secret Service detail is loyal to Mellie, because every time he's asked, while he doesn't say it outright, he ALWAYS gives it away, and seriously? Dude! The first word in your job title is SECRET. Learn!

Back to Jesse, when he realized what a killing Hollis made, he got greedy and demanded more. Hollis has never let anything like morals get in his way and next thing you know,  (literal) BOOM! in the cytron building, where Quinn has been framed.  Turns out, Quinn has been bought to Washington by Huck and Olivia because OLIVIA was in on the election rigging.  The dirty half-dozen-minus-one that came up with this idea:

Hollis Doyle - this man loves power and the idea of getting free reign in the white house is too attractive. Plus, Hollis loves money. Because money gives him power. And it does not set well with him when the stolen white house wants to...ahem, do good things and serve the people.
Verna Thorton - I don't know what she did before the election, but after the election she is sworn in a supreme court justice.  You don't have to remember her, as she's dead now. But you'll probably want to remember that, on her death bed, she was killed (or euthanized; after all, she was terminal) by Fitz.  Yup. After Verna tells him about the election rigging, and breaks his heart, the president goes all Carl Bruner (Ghost) and takes off her oxygen mask.  Incidentally, the US District Attorney, David Rosen, was waiting outside her hospital room to take her statement where she fully planned to confess to election rigging to clear her conscience before she died.
Mellie Grant - The first lady is bad ass in her own right.  She's smart, she's cool, she's calculating. And for her, being FLOTUS is her ticket into the white house, but that's not all she wants to do. She understands that being the First Lady is a business, and when her fake miscarriage didn't swing voters, she figured a little election rigging was in order. Mellie's fatal flaw is that she actually does love the brooding Fitz.  Not that wants him, but she's spent a lot of time creating this president, and like any badASS, she ain't giving him up without a fight.
Cyrus Beene - In my opinion, Cyrus is one of the most complex, interesting characters to show up on television in a long time.  He is devoted to the president.  The white house is his first love, his life, but since he knew he'd never be president (too ugly. too gay. his words, not mine), he has "settled" for sitting at the right hand of the power.  Cyrus loves his country, always refers to it as "this great nation", and understands that sometimes the American people have to be guided to the right decision. Cyrus isn't really bound by any sort of moral or ethical law, or real law, as in these last 28 episodes, he's had the president's mistress killed, almost killed his husband, and yes, election rigging.  Last night, he told the Good Secret Service guy (after the GSSG told him he wouldn't let Jesus in the door) that he shouldn't confuse him with Jesus. "Jesus is good. Jesus saves. I destroy." Cyrus is a monster. And yet, he's SO human. I can't help but love him. He also has the number of an assassin on speed dial (Charlie, not Huck).

David Rosen is the US DA, in the beginning, but he loses his job in a spectacular meltdown.  In the first season he accidentally stumbles onto the election rigging and, aided by James Novak, Cyrus' husband who also happens to work in the Press Corps at the white house, along with Gideon, a reporter who is close to cracking the truth even though he thinks what he's following is the President's affair.  We learn from flashbacks that in the very beginning of the Grant Administration, Olivia's conscience gets the best of her when she discovers Mellie knows about their affair. She quits.  Fitz, rather than choosing his wife as the transitional woman, has a one-hour stand with Amanda Tanner. But it turns out that Amanda has been set up to sleep with the president...turns out she's pregnant by Billy Chambers, Vice President Sally Langston's chief of staff. Billy Chambers orchestrates the affair to discredit Fitz because apparently to be a chief of staff, you have to be loyal to the point of obsessed.  Billy Chambers (and I'm not sure why, but for me, it's always Billy Chambers. Not Billy) wanted to bring Fitz down before the election, but by the time he got the evidence to Sally, she had already conceded in the primaries and agreed to be Fitz' running mate. Sally is a crazy-right wing religious fanatic republican, and pretty much hates Fitz for being soft on gays, and on religion, and you know, being a republican in name only.  The first season ends rather spectacularly when Billy, who is full on bat shit crazy kills Gideon the reporter who's figured it out, and then, during a WH press conference, says - I'm heartbroken because my girlfriend Amanda died, and she was cheating on me with the president (and about that? I'm thinking no one cheats on you with the president. I'm thinking you're the fool who's with the girl who's with the president).  That is enough to end a normal administration, but not the Grant Administration, as he (Fitz) pretty much orders VP Sally Langston to disown him. Which she does and last we see of Billy (until last night), he's in the elevator with Charlie, Cyrus' assassin.  Despite all this, David takes the case to the grand jury, only for his case to implode when James lies on the stand and the case falls apart. After losing this case and Quinn's murder case (which Olivia fixed to get her off), he's pretty much fired because really...two cases?  He leaves the US Attorney's office and goes to work as a teacher.  It's a pretty sad fall - even Harrison notes of his new business cards "I didn't know they made cardstock this thin".

BUT IT'S NOT THE END OF BILLY CHAMBERS OR DAVID ROSEN. Turns out, there's been a mole (the Albatross) in the administration basically f**king up and making Fitz look like a moron.  And it's Billy. And he's been assisted by none other than David Rosen.  Revenge is serious on this show. Nobody forgets anything.

Only on scandal is the president's attempted assassination (during his birthday party) a side point.  It was orchestrated by dead Verna to make sure the Defiance election rigging story never got out. But he survived only to kill her. There's some ironic justice in there.

Oh - and Jake.  Captain Jake Ballard, maybe he's good, maybe he's bad, and he's played by the lovable Scott Foley. He has also shook the sheets with Olivia, and it was in his best interest for that to remain secret. But then it turned out, Charlie the Cyrus Assassin had taped this, and he's now turned this over to Joe Morton, Park Bench Guy, Man Scorned by Whitley Gilbert.  PBG, we know is the head of the assassin unit of the government that has employed, at times, Huck, Charlie, and Jake, but we still don't know just how he fits in. There's a train of thought that he's Olivia's father. I don't know, but I know that next week's season finale is a finale that's worthy of a party.

I don't want to muddy already muddled waters with names that we may or may not see next Thursday, but there's also Edison Davis, the Senator Majority leader who was in love with Liv, proposed to Liv, and was rejected by Liv. He annoyed me. He also promised Liv he was done. Let's hope so.

So there you have it, enough of 28 episodes to really enjoy next week. But you should watch all 28 anyway (some of them I've watched twice. Don't judge me). This show, while soapy and funny, and campy, is more addictive than hot McDonald's French fries. And I think it's additive because you can't really say that none of this would never happen. This show thrives on ambiguity: the only black and white are on suits here.  We live in interesting times, and where I think at one point we wanted to believe Washington was like the West Wing, it's probably more like Scandal (save the euthanized supreme court justice. Let's hope that would never happen).  The writing on this show is so nuanced, so dead on, that even though they've never filmed an episode here, and there are a lot of scenes that take place in a park that is probably supposed to be McPherson Square but looks nothing like it, this show GETS it.  The underground racism that is never spoken but it's there. It's there when one of Olivia's clients assumes the lovely red-headed Abby is the powerful Olivia. It's there in Cyrus' frank discussion with Fitz that Olivia's hue will never play well with his constituents. Olivia is successful and rich and lovely, but she's lonely.  People who get married are "normal", and that's not good.  The show never leans on any one thing, but neither does it flinch, and it's brilliant.

Until next week, Friends!

50 Ways (To Leave Your Lover)

So, it's time. I haven't blogged in so long because I was not ready to post over my last one. And while I'm still processing, still figuring out how to move on, moving on is what Kevin would expect me to do so...
...so I'm gonna talk about a book now.

Okay, so I finished reading 50 Shades of Grey. I was compelled to read it by not just my friends who said it was a great summer read, but also by my friends who warned me about how bad the book was.  I figure any book that elicits such a visceral reaction deserves a read.  For those of you who asked me what I thought, here you go:  for my friends who said they were waiting to see what I thought before they read it, I'd harly consider what I'm writing below "spoilers", but I do share some details.

I think these are the only books E.L. James has written, though her wiki article says she's a TV executive. So she's had some access to fiction. Her Wiki article has her admitting shock to the success of this novel. Ain't that alway the way? In my opinion, it's no question this book has catapulted to the best seller list because of the shock value of the BDSM (thanks, Laura-Leigh for explaining THAT particular acronym to me). As opposed to say, The Help, which spread by word of mouth because it was a fascinating, well written debut.

What she got right:

-  The email exchanges.  For the most part, Ana didn't get on my nerves AT ALL when she was sending emails -- she was honest and witty.  And that was the only time she didn't get on my nerves.  I could buy that this man intimidated her enough that she felt she couldn't honestly express herself in person, BUT, I really didn't know enough about Ana to know this (see below for what got on my nerves)

- Some of the erotic scenes, not the ones that were supposed to be SO NAUGHTY, but the first one, and other subsequent ones made me...ahem...flush crimson

- I think the story was SLIGHTLY (and I do mean SLIGHTLY) more plausible because (spoiler here) she was a virgin. By her own admission, she wasn't interested in her sexual side until Christian. I think I get that. i also get that when you're with your first lover, you're inclined to be more trusting of their adventures, particularly if you had none.

- Whether meaning to or not, she kind of set up that Ana would be ripe for submission through her relationship with Kate. That was the most one-sided friendship I've ever seen in chick-lit. From commanding her to take the interview to simply moving her to Seattle with her, I never got the sense that Ana had any thoughts of her own. 

- He bought her a MacBook. Ha! Just kidding!

What she got eh:

- She did a credible job to showing us that Christian Grey had a hard time (Pun intended). For whatever reasons, his view of intimacy (not sex) was a bit skewed. Kinda wish I knew more about that now that the book is over.

- In one email, she explains to Christian that she's conflicted by enjoying something she's supposed to find abhorrent. If she had expanded on this email for say, the entire book instead on one page, I think I would have a different opinion. THIS is the entire conflict right here.  It's not the spanking or the bondage -- as Christian said -- RIGHTLY -- two consenting adults get to choose what's acceptable.  it was that she COULDN'T resolve the conflict between her mind and her body. I don't know anyone who hasn't been there at LEAST once in their lives...and not just sexually.  Expand on that, you've got a worthy book to which anyone can relate.  What we got was: "Oh Crap. I feel conflicted. What to do. Here he is. He took my panties. I love him". Oh bother. 

What she got completely wrong:

- The dialog. She was a literature major, for crying out loud!! I get that Ana was tongue tied a lot of the time with Christian. I did NOT GET that E. L. James couldn't do a better job of voicing what was in Ana's mind. If she had said Holy Crap one more time...

- Christian Grey - total caricature. I got that Ana was captivated by this man, but I couldn't understand why. Unless it was purely sexual, leading to...

- I can buy that a 22 year old in her first sexual relationship would mistake sex for love (especially with that guy, who, upon occasion, loomed larger than life). But I don't get why she thought it was more than that...yes, some emails and some vulnerable moments, but all the guy did was [sex] her socks off (and the Mac). Okay, I'll withhold my judgement on that one. I tripped on that pebble a time or two.  Didn't like it about myself, either. ;)

- There's a fine FINE line between caring and stalking. Not sure Christian was always on the right side of that. Proving another point that has nothing to do with this book -- in a nutshell -- it's complete bullsh!t when people say "I don't kiss/go to bed with/sleep over" on the first date. What they are saying is "I haven't made up my mind about you yet."  Seriously (back to the book), I'm in GA to get away from you and you show up at my hotel and no red flags go off in my mind? Whatever.

- The end. I don't like books that don't end. Yes, I know it's a trilogy. It should still be story that ends, in its own right.

My friend Maria suggested I stop using my literary eye to read this book. And after a while, I did think that perhaps it would go better on me if I were in on the joke.  Something that she also got right -- this book keeps people talking.  Hell, I've written an essay on it right here!

All in all, it wasn't AS bad as I was expecting, and I'm intrigued enough about Christian to read book 2. But oddly enough, I want to read it because I HOPE there's some more character building, not for more moments of crimson. I can't say I know these people enough to care abou them all that much.

It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday

Thanksgiving week began as it always does ~ shopping for food, attempting to clean the house, the realization that there will be way too much food and how does that happen ever single year? Tuesday I went to Alex's school and had a Thanksgiving feast, complete with chicken nuggets (which were a LOT more popular than my homemade turkey dressing, let me tell you). And through it all, the weather was that freaky mid-Atlantic November weather. Monday and Tuesday it rained like a mug, and Wednesday and Thursday were so gorgeous you didn't need a jacket and you're all...okay I'm loving this but it's going to have to chilly up a bit for Christmas.

Through it all, I remember feeling so thankful. The way the leaves fell off the trees. The way my kid will re-enact the Lion King (and ask me to be Rafiki to write on his forehead). Even for too much food. For my pedicure. For a house about to implode with dirty laundry. Big and small, I remembered being so thankful, and saying a prayer for those less fortunate than me.

And then...

Thanksgiving weekend I lost one of my best friends. And I'm a mess. Kevin is the strong one. That's what we do. I cry over sad movies. He makes fun of my ugly pants. He sits at the edge of my dining room table and shakes his head at my disorganization. My son calls him Uncle Kevin. His daughters call me Auntie Tye..well, the littlest one does. His older daughters just call me, simply Tyuana.

I look for God's Grace whenever and wherever I can. I know it's there...and I know He will show it to me...if I can only look past how absolutely heartbroken I am. My heart breaks for his children, for his family, and yes, for me. Kevin was the brother God gave me because I didn't have any of my own. Kevin put me on a plane to my parents house when I went through the worst break up ever. Kevin ALWAYS made me laugh...no matter how bad my mood was. He had an ear for everyone, he was always willing to listen. But he wasn't always willing to talk. I would always pry for information and he'd call me nosey and I'd be all...like that's news. Several years ago, before either of us were married, we hopped to 4 different Thanxgivings...that was epic. I ate at all 4 places...thought I would die, but each house offered something different. That was the first time I met all of Kevin's family...I love them. They are family to me, because they are his family. Then there was the time, when we still worked together (this still makes me laugh), I had to talk to him about work...but he wasn't answering me...I kept talking and talking and finally he shushes me and turns up the radio. Barry White was playing...he turns it up and just starts singing...and I'm like...UH HELLO? And he simply said...it's Barry. Recently, when the pace of cheering and working and parenting and life had caught up with me, and I hadn't seen him in a while...he just said, slow down. Kevin always hated Doctor Phil because he said that man got rich dispensing common sense. He was a man of few words (unless he was going on one of his famous, funnier than Dennis Miller rants), but all of his words had meaning. To me. To his family. To his children. To my child.

Walter always said that Kevin could say the things he was thinking and not get in trouble for it. So it was usually Kevin that would tell me that I spent too much money, or that my pants were hideous...or gently, that I could stand to hit the gym. But he only did it when I wanted to go. He told me once...if you were happy, I'd never say anything. I'm just reminding you of what YOU want.

There was the time his middle daughter, out of the blue, started calling him Mr. Kevin Merriweather.

Or when he very seriously told me that he had to break up with Nia Long because he realized she was a smoker.

Or the time I had him turn on my lights to make it seem like I was in the office when I was nowhere close.

Or the time, I got my girlfriend's pound cake recipe. I had promised Kevin, when his mom died, that I'd make him a pound cake. I got the best recipe I knew. I swear to this day my girlfriend gave it to me wrong, but I was putting too much baking soda in it. Cake after cake after cake fell. When I finally got one that resembled food, but weighed about 17 pounds I gave it to Kevin. He thanked me and told me it was good and took it home. He told Walter later, and swore him to secrecy, that it was too heavy and he couldn't eat it. But he didn't want me to know because I had worked so hard.

Here's the problem...I don't have enough stories for my lifetime. I was just asking him how we were going to "do it up" for his 40th. I was older in years...he was my big brother in every other way.

A couple of weeks ago -- I was driving home from work -- and the fog was misting through the trees, creating a shadow in front of the sun. The trees still had a lot of their leaves. The picture was breathtaking and I remember thinking...this must be what heaven is like. This must be what people see so they aren't afraid to leave this earth...the promise of something bigger, more beautiful. And then, I got a little freaked out that God was showing me this because it was my turn. But it wasn't. Maybe he showed me that picture so that I'd know where Kevin was going was beautiful. At times like this, all I have is my faith...I know that someone gently took Kevin by the hand on Thursday and took him to a lovely, peaceful place.

...but he's still supposed to be here.

There are no words to describe how much I will miss him. How I still think this is all a cruel cruel joke. You know there's...maybe a 5 second interval in the morning before your memory kicks in? Especially when something bad happens? That is happening to me. Saturday morning I asked Walter if I had dreamed it all.

He told me no.

I love you, Kevvie. Rest in Peace.

Sharp Dressed Man

Okay, so...new experiences in parenting never end. Today was my first school picture day. We'd gotten plenty of notice, and I had figured out last week what Alex was going to wear: jeans, a rugby shirt, and hopefully it would be cool enough for a turtleneck. Easy enough, right? I hardly thought this would turn into a *thing*...Had it all gone as planned, this is how he would have looked [I took this tonight].

You see where this went wrong, right? I used the word PLANNED in conjunction with my life.

On a somewhat unrelated note. I'm *tired*. My frenetic pace this month is beginning to take its toll, and when I got up this morning, decided there was no earthly reason to begin my day so quickly, and went back to bed. So Alex and I both got a little extra sleep this morning. Alex's school day begins at 8:30, and class time begins between 8:45 and 9. I always figure he needs to be dropped off by 8:40, at the latest ~

7:15 - Gently shake the boy awake (we still haven't conquered the whole - stay in bed all night, and complicating things is that now Alex sleeps with Woody from Toy Story). Really. You can imagine all of the inappropriate things that run through my mind when I wake up face to face with a Woody.

7:30 - Finally, His Highness rousts himself to the bathroom, where he brushes his teeth. His newest thing, when rinsing is to mimic a surprise. For instance: "Mommy? How old are you? [takes sip] "41". [spits water out as if he can't believe that I've not yet turned to stone]

7:33 [And here's where it all goes to hell] I'm dressing him in the outfit that I thought was so great for a kindergartner, and say "Alex! Picture day, aren't you excited?"

Alex: Mommy, can I wear a tie?

A tie? Who am I raising? Alex P. Keaton? A Warbler from Glee? Alex's school has no dress code, and he's worn a necktie exactly twice: at his Uncle Parrish's wedding and Easter Sunday (courtesy of my mother, because you know, nothing says Resurrection like dressing your grandson like a City Councilman) I am not that formal. The last time I wore a suit to work, my boss complimented me on how nice I looked. Translation: "Jesus, I was beginning to think you slept in khakis and sweaters".

Anyway, I tell Alex that we don't have a tie. I then ask, puzzled, why he's just bringing it up that he wanted to wear a tie, that we had to go to school.

Alex: "When you and Daddy got married, he wore a tie, so I thought you would know that."

Okay. At this point, it's 8:00 and I figure it's not the time to get into kid logic. So, no tie. He then proceeds to pick up his glow in the dark dinosaur shirt and asks to wear that. Easy answer. No, because they school said no black. And plus...really? From a tie to a dinosaur shirt?

Alex [pointing at the rugby shirt like it's made of stick pins]: But Mommy, that shirt is black.

Me: No, it's blue.

[crickets chirping]

Then he points to his button down shirt in the closet. Can I wear that, pointing to a shirt from LAST birthday's pictures, and I'm thinking there's no way in hell that it fits. Well, it must have been entirely too big because it fit him perfectly. The school instructions said no stripes, but it's now after 8, and we still haven't had breakfast.

Okay, fine - you can wear this shirt.

"Please button my sleeves Mommy. Alex always says please and thank you. He's a kind and benevolent ruler. As I'm buttoning, he spies a pair of black socks, and excitedly says:

"THAT sock can be my necktie."

[8:10]

Me: Ah. No. Goes into the drawer...this is the only necktie you have, and it --

Alex: Okay I wear it.

Me: --doesn't match.

Alex: No, Mommy. It'll be fine. I wear dis.

Me: Alex, your shirt is blue striped. Your tie is yellow with a design. I really don't think this matches.*

*I NEVER buy ties. I am impossible at matching them. And even in my limited experience, I can see this doesn't match.

I take my next breath to explain that he's going to look a hot buttery mess, and then remember the numerous conversations that I've had with my veteran parent friends about choosing your battles. This is not a battle to choose - after all, who of us doesn't have a COLLECTION of bad school pictures? And at this point, I can't argue much because it's...

[8:20]

So downstairs we go, had breakfast, packed lunches finally got to school. In the turtleneck, striped shirt, and printed tie at...8:55.

ONE HOUR to dress 3 feet, 10 inches. I'm sure there are people who DID get married today and didn't take so long.

God bless the little test pattern as he grabbed just a little more of his independence. And a small part of me was very proud that Alex was determined to wear his own clothes on his own terms. But the larger part of me wondered what he'd want to wear for Christmas pictures. A tux?

See You in September

Okay, so, I had the best day today!! Coach Tanya's and my Little Lady Hawks took the field for the first games of the season. They were ADORABLE! It was so much fun to watch them enjoy themselves on the field.

It was warm today, but with Labor Day in a couple of days, Alex starting kindergarten last Monday, and of course, the fact that it's dark by 8:00 nowadays, it means that Fall is right around the corner. So much to love about fall, cooler days, warmer foods, and time together with friends. I got married in autumn, Alex was born in autumn, and of course, thanks to my Waltie, we are a football family. Autumn is our time...it makes me happy.

Of course the day only got better because I got some time to craft. I promise, my blog will not be all about the card making...I have some funny musings that I'm rolling around in my head. But these hops and challenges are on a deadline, which means that I have to post on time.

HQ of A Muse Studio challenged us on their FB page to do a layout using onyx and orange, the colors of fall. And while I don't have any specific halloween stamps from A Muse just yet, I have some colors, and some owls, and with Glee rolling on the DVR - this is what I produced:

Hard not to love the owls with their big old eyes, or how they sit quietly, taking in everything. Hard not to love autumn, the way the leaves go away and the air gets chillier, sending everyone inside until spring rolls around once more. Hard not to love the sense of renewal of it all. Hard not to love that life slows down somewhat in the colder months. Hard not to love. Period.

The fine print: [all supplies by a muse studio: Stamp set: Owl's Well; Cardstock: orange and onyx polka dot; Ribbon: orange; Copic Markers. You can shop for yourself here]

At the Hop

Hello and welcome to my first ever Blog Hop!! If you are participating in the blog hop, you should have come from Dana Vincent's blog and if not, then you should start from the beginning with Samantha's blog until you come to my blog.

We are highlighting items from the holiday catalog, and there are so many things to love in there. This Santa jacket is my absolute favorite, and with a little flocking on the collar and fringe, it's just like Santa's furry jacket.

I'm starting to become the Poster Girl for Clean and Simple - this card? Two stamps, 2 pieces of Paper, and a ribbon!

[All supplies are by A Muse Studio -- Stamp set: Naughty or Nice; Ribbon: Cherry; Cardstock: Candy Cane Stripe and Onyx]

All of these supplies are available at my web site! Or please contact me to schedule a workshop! I love it!!

Thanks for stopping by!! Now on to your next stop, Karen Crisp's blog...I LOVE what she's done with Santa's Coats...I'm totally going to case (scraplift, steal) that idea!

Happy Friday!!